Lunch with Emily

Had lunch today with Emily.  We talked about some mutual friends who she had spoken to more recently than I had.  It's hard to believe that we have so many people in common. 
She told me that Charlotte was in St. Louis, having recently had a baby girl.  She had also gotten married.
I told her that Erin was trying to get into graduate schools, including Sarah Lawrence.  Emily told me that she thought Erin was a great writer. 
We also had a long chat about relationships.  Neither of us is in a relationship right now, and happy to be.  (Sort of.  I would be glad to be with certain boys, but most of these boys aren't interested in me, and there's nothing that can be done about that.)  Emily told me that she is having so much trouble getting her own life together she doesn't have time to consider the extra problems of someone else.  This is sort of how I feel too.
We had some mutual friends who got married, and then the young woman just gave up all career hopes.  Period.  It was really something, because she was always carrying on about what a brilliant student she was (as someone also with a large ego, I didn't think she could even compare to me...)  I almost told her to drop out of school midway through, since she was not apparently planning on using her degree and why bother paying for it otherwise?  Emily agreed with me on my thoughts on that.
I had just been thinking about Ashley this morning.  Ashley has never had a boyfriend, and I feel sorry for her, but I found myself thinking about her desire for a boyfriend isn't about her loving anyone in particular, it's about having someone make her feel whole.  Ashley, in all the years of gripping about her single status, has never mentioned liking any one guy.  This to me indicates that it is not that she is in love with someone but in love with the idea of "love."  It's not even real love, it's an idealized version where love isn't hard work.  Anyone who's ever been in a relationship knows it is hard work.   
Times like these I wish I had a boyfriend who was flexible enough that he could just go anywhere.  But I realize that's a pipe dream. 
Maybe Emily and I will hang out some more soon.  I'd really like that.