Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Concert on a School Night

Over the weekend Elizabeth fell in love with this band, and since they were playing a show, she wanted to go.  She asked a bunch of us to come along, and as I got an invite, I said sure.  Jane and Ruth were both going to come, but they didn't show up, so we left without them.  I was disappointed, since I like hanging out with both of them.  Ruth recently complained to me about Jane's behavior, so I wonder if neither of them showed up because they thought the other one might. 
We took a cab, which I about never do.  We split it four ways, so the good news is that I only owe Miriam five dollars for the night.  (I am miserably bad with change, and didn't have any fives or ones to give her.) 
The cab driver was totally awful.  He sounded totally confused with Claire told him where to go.  He kept repeating it as if he'd never heard of it before, and this makes me nervous.  What is it with non-native English speakers repeating everything you say to them?  It makes me wonder if they aren't understanding, which would be fine, if they would just ask.  There's a guy at the caf that does the same thing.  When he first started working there, this would really irk me, but now I mostly ignore it. 
It took him a while to find it, and then he sort of just left us in the middle of the street.  Um, gee, thanks?  Claire told me she thought he was "absolute crap."  Amen. 
The concert was at this hotel.  Actually, I'm honestly not sure if it was a hotel, because the ground level was a very dark bar, with all this wood paneling so it looked super fancy and old, like it would be the sort of place Victorian playboys or Edwardian lords or even flapper girls.  I hate the phrase "old-timey" but that's what it reminded me of. 
We went up these stairs, where everything was painted a kelly green.  At the top was this bizarre room.  It was a greenhouse on the roof of the building.  The floor had hexagonal white and black tiles, like a bathroom (and again, an old bathroom, like something from the fifties) and Victorian streetlamps in the middle of the room.  In one corner, the band was setting up.  On the side opposite of where we entered, a very large and fancy bar was being set up.
We were early, which was weird, because Elizabeth thought we were going to be late. 
No, instead we spent a lot time sitting around waiting.
The music they played while we waited was all very mod, very forgotten bits of the London 60's.  I rather liked it.  I used to listen to this music a lot as a young girl, but I haven't for ages.   
I feel a little badly about admitting this, but I was not happy with the other sorts of people at this gig.  There were a lot of women there, and a lot of them were tall and leggy and clearly could be models.  I am not a beautiful person; I felt uglier than normal there.  There were also a lot of hipsters there, and I could feel myself roll my eyes internally at them. 
Claire asked me where I had gotten my outfit, which was the same one I had worn out a few weeks back when I went out with Erin and Carrie.  I told her I had mostly gotten it second hand.  The dress, belt and pants were all very cheap, and considering how good I looked, I was pretty pleased with this.  The sweater was my Mom's, on loan.  And the underwear and panties I had on underneath were mine, along with the socks and tennis shoes.  (Aren't you glad to hear that?)  "I spent about fifteen dollars on this outfit, overall" I told her, which is pretty damn good.  She was impressed. 
At this point, a man sidled up to us.  He was with a girl.  He looked Mediterranean, with the dark eyes and hair and beard.  Usually, I would find someone like this attractive, but the skin around his eyes was all red and there was something about him that was off. 
For some strange reason Claire felt the need to tell him I was a bit rambunctious.  He didn't grin but said "Tell me more."  Oh ew.  Okay, moving on. 
The opening act was this young man from a band who was just playing solo.  He was okay.  He was playing a very country/blues kind of sound, which normally would be fine, but the crowd clearly wanted to party, and here he was, sort of killing the mood with all these sad songs about girls leaving him.  He had one about, I kid you not, driving out on New Orleans during Katrina. 
How old is this guy? I thought.  He looked my age or slightly older.  He was near New Orleans during Katrina? 
He was also weirdly egotistically.  Like, he had this whole thing where he acted as if he was amazing, and although his playing was quite good, there was nothing about him that was memorable (other than maybe his strange self).  He seemed to be playing mostly as a way of pushing himself on the audience. 
He talked to much, and Claire didn't like him or his music and she didn't like that he was swearing.  At one point, she said something under her breath about the swearing, and it was at the perfect moment, because a hush just happened to fall on the audience right then, and everyone heard her.  Claire covered her mouth in embarrassment, and I roared with laughter. 
The guy continued playing slow songs.  There was something about him that was really awkward, but he also seemed really oblivious about it. 
"Did you think you were the best I ever had?" he sang.  I found myself thinking that if anyone had him at all, he'd be terribly lucky. 
Finally, he realized his slow songs were slowly killing everyone, because midway through one he said "Fuck it.  I'm going to play something uptempo."  And he did and it was surprisingly, mercifully, better than what had been happening. 
Afterwards, he announced he was going to send free zip files with full studio albums from his band to all of us, and curious, I signed up for it.  Unfortunately, this meant having to go up and talk to him in person, which honestly, I wasn't really interested in doing.  He shook my hand and he seemed okay, though still a little full of himself.  He talked to me as if I should immediately think he was a genius, and this annoyed me. 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I went to a party.  We played this token game.  Basically, there was a massive pile of tokens and you got to take so many for each thing. 
For example, Faith would read "take one token if you made your bed today."  Obviously, as my form of making the bed is making sure the blankets are all on top, I didn't take a token. 
It was pretty fun.  Claire took all sorts of tokens that she wasn't meant to, including the end, where you got to take a token for not cheating.  Hayley, Ruth's roommate, came, and it was the first time I had ever spent lots of time with her.  Lavvy came a little late, but we let her play too. 
I didn't get to take too many tokens myself, but I was triumphant when one of them was "take four tokens if you went to church today."  One of the few times being religious in my group of friends as panned out. 
Mimi was being especially annoying during the game.  She kept interrupting Faith, and finally, putting on her best authority voice, told Mimi she was making the decisions.  All of my friends, clustered around a table, roared with laughter. 
I told all of them about my idea of having a garage sale type thing.  I was thinking it could be more like a table sale, where everyone sold the stuff they didn't need anymore. 

Marilyn Hacker Poem

I was reading some poems today, and I came across this great bits by Marilyn Hacker:
"You did say, need me less and I’ll want you more.
I’m still shellshocked at needing anyone,
used to being used to it on my own.
It won’t be me out on the tiles till four-
thirty, while you’re in bed, willing the door
open with your need. You wanted her then,
more. Because you need to, I woke alone
in what’s not yet our room, strewn, though, with your
guitar, shoes, notebook, socks, trousers enjambed
with mine. Half the world was sleeping it off
in every other bed under my roof.
I wish I had a roof over my bed
to pull down on my head when I feel damned
by wanting you so much it looks like need."
Ruth likes to tell me "be mean, keep them keen," and I've already mentioned why I dislike that entire life philosophy and how I think it's a little one-sided.  (Boys are far less likely to put up with a mean girl than the opposite.) 
I love the last bit of imagery, with the roof being pulled down. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

Rocking Kitty

Isn't this the cutest kitty you've ever seen?  Lol.  I feel like it's trying to pass as one of the Beatles. 
I really want a kitten. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Compare and Contrast

I caught Sarah in the caf today.  Basically, I had told Lavvy a couple of days ago that I wanted to help Sarah clean out her place, which, among other things, is getting new carpeting.  I've never been to Sarah's place before, but apparently it is really messy and crammed with stuff. 
Sarah and I talked and I offered to help.  I told her about how a nasty comment Sharon made got me thinking about privilege and caring for other people. 
"Sharon systematically alienates people," Sarah explained. 
"Does she have low level autism?" I asked.  "There's something off about her socializing." 
Sarah considered, then said probably not.  Sarah claimed Sharon was jealous of her. 
I don't know.  I like Sarah, but, but as I imagine myself seeing from Sharon's eyes, there isn't anything about Sarah that I feel would make me jealous. 
At the same time, Sharon says a lot of strange things, often very hurtful to whom she says them to.  I've watched her say some really ugly things to Claire and Ruth, and I myself have been on the end of some of them.  (Elizabeth noted that she had said something stupid things in front of Tamar, which surprises me not at all.) 
Maybe the better way of describing Sharon is to say that Sharon is one of those people who is always comparing her life to your's, and not always making a great secret of it.  I've noticed this in some of my own friends, mostly Ashley but also sometimes Natasha and Laura.  Basically, they make you know that they compare their life to your's.  If they think they are doing better than you, they make sure you know how inferior you are.  If they think you are the one doing better, they are angry and resentful at you, because, clearly, it's your fault and you deserve to be punished.  The truth is that comparing yourself to anyone, no matter who it is and no matter how you react, it's a bad habit, one that leads to other bad habits that leave you either alone or unhappy or both.  Personally, I advise not doing it at all, and catching yourself when your mind wanders to those thoughts. 
I've found concentrating on the positive things in my life is the best way to be happy, or, when things aren't so good, the best way to be happier.  If you're happy with your life or at least making an effort to be, you're really better off.  Comparing always ends the same. 
This might be Sharon's thing.  She isn't happy, but instead of loving the good things in her life and working to fix and appropriately deal with the things that aren't, she sits around comparing.  She wallows in self-pity when she finds herself lacking in comparison with someone and she insults and belittles someone when she doesn't.  She alienates people by being mean and then feels bad about herself for losing another friend.
Sarah also mentioned that she thinks Sharon might be gay.  I could see that, though Sharon once mentioned an ex-boyfriend.  Sharon's been alone for a while, and maybe that's a problem too.  With a lot of the people who I note do this comparing thing, there tends to be a fair amount of loneliness in their lives.  The only exception is Laura, but I'm not sure if she's just not lonely or if she's just hiding it from me.  (Ashley and Natasha give off loneliness vibes, Ashley does it a lot more than the average person.) 
Anyway, it's something I'm going to be thinking about, especially as I observe Sharon. 
Sarah also mentioned that she gets along with everyone, which I kind of true.  There are a lot of people who I think she really just tolerates and they tolerate her back. 

Thursday, March 24, 2011

In Cold Blood

A couple of nights ago I was reading part of In Cold Blood, which is really a thrilling, fascinating, and sometimes even funny read.  There's something about it that seems to perfectly capture the American West. 
The way African Americans are depicted is interesting.  They are not an important part of the story, but that's nothing new, as they're usually relegated to the margins of society and art.  But they do come up occasionally.  At one point, one of the killers carries on about how something pays, saying that it's not enough for "a white man could live off."  Wow, basically implying that whites are more deserving of better pay, based solely on their skin.  Great.  Well, they are serial killers, there's no reason to expect that they're going to be enlightened in any other way.  And since serial killers exist because they have a psychological need for power, there's no way to hope they would be thoughtful about privilege and power the way other people might be able to be. 
At one point, they also talk about how the killers came across "a pair of Negro prizefighters driving a lavender Cadillac."  I was happy to be reminded that some African Americans were successful, even in an age where it was probably so hard. 
(Also, can I just say that I love Cadillacs and would probably love a lavender colored one?  I think I would have to come up with a clever name for it.  Maybe Lavender Brown, in reference to the Harry Potter character.) 
Women are interesting too.  At one point, this woman landlord goes on and on to an investigator, telling him that she's "just a dizzy blonde."  She goes on, telling him that she believes him, but that she "wouldn't tell that tale to any brunettes."  I found this weirdly funny.  She sounded like so many female characters in all those old movies.   
The psychology of the serial killers is another thing that is cool to see in the piece.  The narrator comments that a potential victim's laugh reminds one of the killers of his father.  The piece doesn't really talk about what that means, but anyone thoughtful enough can start coming up with theories. 
It's so well written!  At one point, the narrator describes a word as "ominous."  The word?  "OOM."  I usually don't think of "words" like that, but it is.  It even made me think of the Ood in Doctor Who
The other thing I found myself thinking as I was reading this was about how Lee Pace played one of the killers in the movie version of the story that came out some years ago.  As I've mentioned here before, I'm a huge fan of Pace, though I haven't seen this movie yet.  I think there's really no choice in the matter now: I'm going to have to. 

Eat This, Computer

The first part of work was okay.  It wasn't until I realized that some files had disappeared off my computer that I got upset. 
I had spent hours working on them earlier this week, and they are just gone.  How exactly I'm not sure, but basically, this bad computer has a reputation for "eating" files.  (Alex's words, not mine.)  Sometimes I have the forethought to send the files to myself via email so I at least have those, but I didn't do that. 
So I had to start all over. 
I was hoping I was going to get the work done before the end of the day so I could present them to Alexander, but that didn't happen.  Even though my second pass was faster (I could still remember some of the choices I made, though I had to look up other information), I didn't get it all done.  Also, I forgotten that Alexander leaves early on Thursdays for an art class.  (I am always curious about this art class he's taking, since he strikes me as artistic, but the kind that wouldn't need a class.)
The good news is that I left early from work today, even though, like most Thursdays I work, I was the last one there.  The bad news was that I didn't have the work on Alexander's desk. 
He had also asked me to do a task yesterday and I said I would, but with everything else that's been slammed on me, I didn't get to it.  I told him I would try to get it done Tuesday.  It was sort of an awkward, awful moment.
I didn't tell anyone about the eating files thing because I'm a little embarrassed about it.   

Dreadfully Ever After

I just wanted to post this review of Dreadfully Ever After, which is the new Pride and Prejudice and Zombies sequel. 
I liked certain things about the first book.  I thought there was something really clever about it, and there was some great imagery and writing.  The fault was that the transitions between the new writer and Austen were really abrupt. 
From what the reviewer said, it sounds like that this book wisely doesn't do that. 
I also like that Elizabeth is the hero in this story.  I need more female heroes. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Okay Player

I love music, especially when it's free.  I was so excited to find this interesting website today called Okay Player, which has a free streaming player.  Total score!
I love the music I've heard on this site so far.  Really cool jazzy, funk-soul stuff.  Bilal's "All Matter" is perfect.   

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Hate Laundry

Somedays, nothing goes right.  I was having one of those days yesterday. 
It started with me needing cash.  I walked to the nearest shop and looked through the things.  I was going to buy a drink, but I was sort of wary of doing this, since temptation was going to be high.  I have given up pop for Lent, and there wasn't much else there to buy.  I finally settled on a vitamin drink, which was hopefully healthy. 
I bought it and got the cash back I needed and went back to my building. 
Usually, there are meant to be these rolly laundry carts in the laundry room.  You can borrow one and put your things for washing in it.  There's been a problem with people taking them and then not returning them.  And I found myself annoyed and on the end of this problem when, yes, I was in a rush and there were no carts.  I didn't have anything else to take my laundry in, so I took a chair that happened to have wheels.  I was hoping that no one would see so that no one would see how silly I looked, a mile high pile of clothes on a chair, but I forgot about it as soon as I realized the chair would need to be pushed extra hard between the crack between the floor and the elevator. 
There was another woman in the elevator.  She was going to do laundry.  Oh no, I thought. 
I exited first, and went into the laundry room quickly, beginning to put my laundry in a washing machine.  I was already so behind schedule-wise, and if I didn't get two machines I was going to be even farther. 
Someone was calling in the hallway.
I peaked my head outside and saw the woman from the elevator and another woman standing there, a sock in between them on the floor.  My sock. 
This sort of angered me.  It was a sock.  Not even a pair, just one sock.  They both saw me and saw where I went.  Both of them had their hands free, and not either of them could pick up said sock, walk into the laundry room, (which is right next to the elevator) and hand it to me.  No.  They had to call at me. 
They had to call at me so that I would exit the room and so the woman in the elevator could take the machine I was going to take.
Obviously, I was really annoyed.  There was something about it that smacked me of how very rude they were.  I probably glared at the woman.  I would have probably said something to her, calling her something equally rude, as soon as I finished trying to cram two loads of laundry into one washer, but then Sarah came in the room.
Sarah said hi to me, and I said hi back, my mind only half paying attention to her.  I was clearly busy.  She kept talking. 
"So you heard about what happened?" she asked. 
"Yes."  I had.  I had wondered if it was going to embarrass her to the point of dropping out of sight.  I would have probably disappeared, had I done the same thing. 
"Well, I have these nieces and nephews, and the oldest nephew is just like Dennis the Menance-"
Seriously?  I thought.  Do I seriously have to deal with this now?
"-and he is just like him, and after I told them about what happened he said 'Well, that was probably the leprachauns' and then I remembered that was the old story the Irish use to use when they did do something wrong.  How appropriate, right?"
"Yeah, that's a cute story."  It came out hollow, and I didn't mean for it to.  I like Sarah; she's nice; I was trying to be nice back to her. 
"Are you having a bad day?" she asked. 
Sarah's actually pretty good with human behavoir.  I was sort of surprised she didn't pick up on my stress earlier. 
"Yeah.  I need an extra washing machine."
Sarah looked into the one nearest her.  "This one is done.  Let's take the clothes out."
The woman from the elevator walked towards her.  "No, I'm using that one."
And the other one on my left, I thought.  There are two sizes of machine, and she had enough for one small one, but felt the need to use both one small machine and one large machine.  I was still annoyed at her for the sock incident less than three minutes ago. 
"Oh," Sarah said. 
"It's really okay," I said.  I was stressed, but I was trying not to take it out on her.  I just needed to cool off. 
Sarah promptly left, and so did the other woman.  I pilled as much as possible into the first one, but realizing I couldn't get anymore in, realized I would have to wait for the next machine to open up.  And would be even more behind. 
I sat down and did some reading while I waited.  The woman eventually came back and said hi to me.  I didn't give her much of a glance, but maybe she sensed my anger because she left pretty soon after that. 
Eventually, a second machine opened up, and I got the rest of it started.  Sarah came back in with a collection of books.  She said she was cleaning out her place and she had lots of good titles.  I had already taken a bunch of books from her earlier. 
"I'm sorry about earlier."
"It's okay, we all have bad days." 
We talked about books for a while, and she talked about one of her favorites, Overheard in NYC.  She had it with her and I looked over it while she talked to me about it.  "When I first read it ten years ago, it really offended me," she explained. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

Approaching an Answer

So, I asked Jimmy about the conversation I had at lunch yesterday.  His thoughts were that I was approachable only if someone knew me.  Otherwise, not so much. 
I realized as I asked him how naturally shy Jimmy is.  It's one of the many things I love about him.  I asked him if I had scared him away, and he said no.  But of course, at that point, I was already friends with Justin and Ryan, and we had those people in common. 
Jimmy did note that I'm usually the one to approach people anyway, which is true at least in some cases. 

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Another meal, another round of strange conversations.  At lunch, Predad sat down with me.  Later, when Tamar came and Predad was gone, I complained about Predad coming around, saying I don't understand why she wants to be around me when I am not friendly towards her at all.  (I mostly didn't talk as she sat there.  I would rather eat alone, in silence, then listen to her mostly incoherent babbling.)  "Well isn't this a common problem for you?" Tamar asked. 
"What's a common problem?"
"Well, you know, since you're easily approachable." 
What?  I don't agree at all.  I don't her I feel like I have the exact opposite problem.  People don't want to come anywhere near me.  I complained about an episode from several years ago where someone said some nasty things about me, that implied, among other things, that he would rather not go anywhere near me. 
"He was just being a stupid boy!" she answered.  "He just wanted your attention, so he said those things."
Well, he most certainly got attention from me.  The negative kind of course, and then I began to avoid him because I was all "Uh-huh.  This guy is awful and mean and really?  I can't believe he said those things with absolutely no evidence." 
Tamar maintains that he wanted my attention.  I'm skeptical.  He had plenty of opportunity and could have used all sorts of false reasons to come and talk to me and we had mutual friends and he never used any of it.
The conversation ended with Tamar saying that "I don't know how men think!"
"I can tell you right now," Jenny chimed in.  "They don't think." 
Oh well good.  Another person giving guys a slide on the whole being brainless thing. 
I still disagree with Tamar about being approachable.  It's not that I generally try to turn people off, though there are time I actively try, it's that I'm not doing anything nice.  Really. 
I would ask other people what they think but I can kind of guess.  Josie would agree, though she would frame it differently than Tamar did.  Ashley would probably say something nasty about it.  Dan would say something about me being an enigma, which is a whole other thing I am frustrated with right there. 

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Hotness!

I've mentioned before on this blog how I am obsessed with Matthew Gray Gubler, who is on Criminal Minds.  The last couple of weeks on the show have been great, because they brought J.J. back and because Gubler got to direct another episode. 
I have been missing J.J., and I honestly was totally surprised by her coming back.  I figured that once she left the show, that was it. 
And of course, anything that lets Gubler be is cute and creative self makes me happy.
The only sad thing is that Prentiss is off the show now.  I loved Prentiss and I am sorry to see her leave.  She was great on this show and Andy Ritcher Controls the Universe, which I also loved.  I heard that she apparently is getting her own show, and hopefully it'll be good.
Someone recently asked me how I'd like to see the show end (if it ever ends; my suspicion is that they want this show to be like Law and Order or CSI: it'll go on as long as possible.)  My ideal ending would have all the characters who have since left coming back for one final showdown, and maybe reconnecting with the characters they never interacted with and picking up their old relationships.  This show, for me, as always been about the characters. 

Season's Endings

This morning I read this post about great season finales, which also means it's that time of the year.
I always think that I am not going to have enough to do once tv goes away for the summer, but that's a big lie, because I have way too much to do and really, I shouldn't be watching tv.
That said, I really agree with how awesome the end of Buffy season five was.  It still makes me cry. 

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Oh, Okay, Now You Actually Talk to Me

When I got in the building today, the security guard was all excited about my stockings.
"Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?" he asked me.
"No." He was going to tell me what he wanted to, whether or not I encouraged him.
And I was right. He told me about the Wicked Witch of the East and how I had stockings just like her. Thanks, I thought. Because I don't already know that.
It's like the nicest thing he's ever said to me. He's been a prick to me since I met him in October.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Kettle and Pot

I happened to run into Sarah today.  She's running a survey on the food services around here.  She purposely didn't ask certain people who have a reputation for being difficult. 
But this didn't, according to her, stop those people from submitting surveys to her anyway. 
"Do you know who Samantha is?" Sarah asked. 
"Yes."  Jenny complained all the time about how rude she was. 
"You know how she wanders around without a bra and it's very obvious?"
"Yes," I answered, but the answer was "I don't really bother looking at people's bodies so closely, but I guess that does explain the few things I happen to observe."
"Samantha apparently complained about girls wearing pajamas to breakfast and touching their hair and then touching their food." 
That's pretty rich.  I laughed a little.  The girls wearing pajamas are probably committing a much smaller fashion faux pas than she is, and I'm almost certain I've never seen the hair thing.  It probably has only happened one time. 
"Kettle and pot," I said.  Sarah laughed at that. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Skipping Work

I woke up today feeling okay.  My ears still hurt a little, and I'm a little tired and stuffy, and my throat's still sore, but everything today felt better than it did yesterday. 
And then I looked at my phone, which I use as an alarm, and realized it had died on me sometime in the night.  I had forgotten to charge it.  I feel like such a moron. 
When I finally figured out the time, I had less then ten minutes to get to work, and there was no way, still in my pajamas, that I was going to make it on time. 
I emailed Alexander and said that I wasn't coming in because I was sick, but that I was hopeful about tomorrow. 
I'm feeling a little guilty about this, even though I really shouldn't, because I haven't missed a day of work or school in about seven or eight years, and usually go even when I am sick.  But I still do, because, if I had gotten up in time, I would have probably been okay today.  That said, I'm going to try to get some extra rest today so I am 100 percent tomorrow. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

Breakfast, Then Bed

I should have realized last night, when I woke up with a sore throat, that I was sick.  But instead I rolled over and fell back asleep.
When I got up this morning I felt awful.  I had a headache, the insides of my ears hurt, I was stuffy, my throat was still sore, and I was tired. 
But I went to breakfast anyway. 
I was honestly hoping just to get in and out of breakfast as quickly as possible, maybe drinking an extra cup of orange juice so I would feel better.  Baw. 
Anna decided she wanted to sit with me.  I told her I was sick, hoping to deter her, but it didn't. 
What I should have said was that I didn't have the stamina to have a polite conversation.  Anna's okay, but I get the feeling nothing is going on in her brain, or at least nothing worth mentioning.  She has sort of this weird voice.  I get the feeling she is trying to imitate a Valley girl, but mostly it just comes out as really annoying.  And she laughs at like everything.  I was not in the mood to deal with her, but I was trying to be nice. 
Part of the reason I don't spend time with Anna is because she has nothing to really say.  She just complains about school or talks clothes, and I would rather die than hear her complain about a teacher.  When people I respect critique a teacher, I consider it, especially if I've never had that teacher.  When someone who strikes me as mindless does, I'm suspicious. 
Sharon recently complained to me about how stupid people are around here, and for a long time I wanted to believe better, but she's kind of got a point.  There are only a few standout people who are really bright or interesting; so many other people are dull. 
Tamar came over to sit with us briefly too, and she talked about this Healthy Snack Week we have going on.  Basically, they're giving away free "healthy" snacks, though Tamar complained that cranberry juice wasn't that healthy.  Tamar is always in a rush in the morning so she left pretty quickly. 
Finally, I got away from Anna.  I spent all weekend not seeing or talking to people at meals, and then today, the morning I wake up, one of the people that would actually sit with me and irk me chooses to. 
I went back to bed after breakfast. 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Out with Erin and Carrie

Since I couldn't find Carrie and Erin when I first got there, I just went to watch the band.  The people at this thing were sort of making me wonder about this place.  There was a young girl wearing what looked like a little girl's dress from the 1840's, with vertically stripped tights a la Alice in Wonderland.  She had all of her hair on the sides of her head shaved off, and just the top of her hair was growing down around it asymmetrically on one side, curled and bouncing in a way that indicated it must have been sprayed with massive amounts of hairspray.  And then she had a nose ring to complete the look.  Her boyfriend looked like an Edward Gorey character, but with an emphasis on pedophile-like creepiness.  There was another woman wandering around wearing no shirt but tape X's over her breasts, and then a suit jacket over that, and was carrying a massive, professional camera.
All of this is to say that I was really wondering where the hell Carrie had gotten me to come.  When she told me about this, it sounded fun, but being here now made me wonder what the appeal for Carrie was.  There was not her kind of place at all.
The band played, and the first woman, the one who was rocking the little girl Alice-punk look screamed out occasionally to the band, telling them she loved them.  "It's because we love you!" she yelled them at one point. 
Near the end of the set, Carrie and Erin found me.  They were both surprised to see me.  They tried to talk to me, and I really should have just left, but the band was good, and I really did want to hear them.  Erin and Carrie's loud talking clearly annoyed some of the people around us. 
Once the band finished, we wandered around a bit.  There was art on the walls, and I pretty much hated everything I saw. 
Carrie is rather fearless when it comes to talking to people.  She just went up to this woman, an artist, named Val.  Carrie just talked to her.  When she introduced herself, I made some jokes about Madonna and first-name basis. 
Val's husband, Curtis, was particularly friendly.  We had a nice time talking to him.  He was sort of floppity looking, like Juicebox, but with darker eyelashes and taller, but just as lean.  Unlike Juicebox, he dressed in clothes that showed off how skinny he is, which is the exact opposite of what Juicebox does. 
Val and Curtis had a very attractive friend with them, but he sort of disappeared.  What a disappointment.  After a while, so did Val. 
I get the feeling Curtis was mostly just talking to us to be nice, not because he was genuinely interested in what we had to say.  This struck me as a little embarrassing.  I would rather not be patronized. 
Eventually people sort of dropped away and left, and near the end, Erin and Carrie and I decided to leave.  Carrie got the art she had bought, wrapped up in bubble wrap. 
We wandered around for a while.  The cold was really bothering me, and I wished I had a warmer coat.  Erin wanted to get something to eat, and we ended up at this greasy spoon. 
The waiter was weirdly rude to us.  He was an older man, and asked for separate checks made him said he would only make two separate checks, not three.  We weren't far from a university, and a large one; I'm sure he's been asked to do that before. 
I had a burger and fries and was mostly happy with that.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Nikelodeon Nostalgia

Back over Christmas break, Lisa and I were talking about how much we loved old cartoons and shows from Nickelodeon.  Back then, I was talking about how much I loved Aaahh! Real Monsters and Hey Arnold!  I am so excited to hear that they're going to be airing some of my favorite old shows on late at night

Monday, March 7, 2011


I am furious at my Dad.  He sent me this really condescending email about some plans I am in the process of making. 
I realize that part of the problem is that my parents are incapable of communicating with one another, and so, instead of just talking to my Mom, he's emailed me.  And because he's all angry at no one consulting him, he's taking it out on me. 
I really want to write him a nasty email back; tell him not to bother worrying about it.  Or even less nasty email simply stating that I'll answer his emails in full when he talks to me with a little respect. 

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Meanwhile, Back at Home...

My Mom called tonight three different times.  I didn't really mind, but it was sort of strange because we sometimes go a long time without speaking to each other, not because we're fighting or anything, but just because she's so busy. 
Among other things, the basement is apparently flooded.  Or flooding right now.  It was a little hard to tell, and from the way my Mom was talking, she was clearly upset about it.  She spent a ton of time last week cleaning the basement up, and now it's managed to be a mess in a totally different way, and I can understand why that would be frustrating.  She started sobbing a little on the phone.  I hate hearing her cry, not because I'm angry at her crying but because I wish the things that made her cry would disappear.  I want her to be happy.  She didn't cry for more than a minute and then she pulled herself together to continue the conversation. 
Also upsetting her is that my Dad was asked to help take care of the flooding while she took care of some business she had to do, and he apparently did nothing. 


I had lunch today with Vicki and Sharon.  Vicki and I were, at first, alone together, and we chatted amiably about nothing important. 
Then Sharon sat down.  She has been spending the past few weekends going to plays and ballets, and she told us she felt kind of guilty about spending money on things like that. 
But then we got talking about men, and I mentioned how frustrating it was sometimes, because guys were far more likely to react negatively towards my aggressiveness than women. 
"Well, it's because you're so intelligent," Sharon said. 
This again? I thought.  My ego so doesn't need this. 
I tried to direct this conversation away from that and onto the larger issue. 
I've been thinking about it since then, and I'm wondering if women don't react negatively to aggressiveness because they are used to men acting aggressively toward them anyway, so it's nothing they don't already deal with every day.  Men only deal with aggressiveness when it is in a fight or as an intimidation, so even well-intentioned, non-antagonistic aggressiveness automatically rubs them the wrong way, and they can't distinguish any difference in kinds of aggressiveness. 

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Studying Outside

I attempted to study outside today.  No luck.  The wind was wilder than I expected, and after about ten minutes, I gave up. 
I am hoping that it gets nicer outside soon. 

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I had to be here for breakfast, because Lavvy needed to talk to Ruth and I. We were hoping to have a brief meeting with Faith about the incident Tuesday evening. Lavvy told Ruth and I what the plan was as we ate. She told us she didn't want a confrontation, just to have it on record in case there was a second incident.
But when we got up there, Faith was nowhere to be found. Ruth had to go to work and then was leaving for a conference, and Lavvy had to go to school and then was returning home for the weekend, so neither of them would until Monday anyway. Lavvy said she would email Faith for a meeting Monday morning, which we'd hopefully get. It's sort of anticlimatic.
So I'm still sort of waiting on the resolution to this, whatever it might end up being. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Failing Lavvy

I feel like such a failure.
I told Lavvy that if she wanted to go to "the authorities" and complain, I would back her up, and, since Ruth was there, I knew she would back Lavvy up too. Lavvy said she wasn't sure, since she didn't want to start a conflict.
Of course, the conflict has already started when that woman spoke to her that way.
Lavvy told me that, since she's moved here, she feels "tolerated, but not welcomed." That's pretty awful, and I didn't know she felt that way. I've tried my best to be nice to her, and I do genuinely like her. We have a lot in common.
Lavvy also mentioned that Faith had said that she was worried about a few women treating her badly before this incident happened, which makes me wonder what has happened before, and if it involved this same woman.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Vicki's Plans

Vicki has gotten an interview for a possible job, but she's not happy about it, since she thinks she's going to be leaving soon.  Ruth and I tried this morning to tell her to go for the interview anyway, since she has no idea how it's going to turn out.
Vicki says she doesn't want to change the plans she's made for the near future, but there's a selfish part of me that wishes she would, because that means she might be around here for a little while longer.

Indian Comic Books

I have a lot of love for Indian musicals, and today, I came across this article on Indian comic books and their recent huge festival.  This looks so cool!  I just about never go to conventions, but seeing this made me want to go.  I really want to check out some of these comics sometime too.