Last Night's Wit

Last night, my Mom had some friends over for a craft marathon.  My Mom loves making stuff like that. 
I'm not a huge fan of all my Mom's friends, but a lot of them seem to think I'm hilarious.
They were discussing my Mom's boss, Cherrie, who I hate.  Among other things, Cherrie likes to tell people who aren't Pentecostals that they're going to hell.  Obviously, as someone who believes in religious tolerance, I have little patience for this kind of stuff. 
Cherrie's what I like to call a Pharisee, one of those Christians that thinks that she somehow is better than others because of her religion.  (The name is a reference to a parable of Jesus covered in Luke 18:9-14).  Wrong.  She just likes to use religion to justify her own behavior. 
Anyway, Elizabeth (one of my Mom's friends) and my Mom were discussing Cherrie, and my Mom refrained from saying anything bad. 
"You know," I said "It's okay in this household to call Cherrie a selfish bitch.  It's the truth."
"You go girl!" Elizabeth said.  Yeah yeah. 
Later on in the evening, my Mom asked me if I had a zip drive she could borrow.  "Sorry," I said.
"You lost my purple zip drive."
"I didn't lose it.  I just don't know where it is." 
Elizabeth thought this was hilarious.
In truth, I'm almost certain my zip drives are in a particular backpack.  If not, they're buried with a bunch of my other college stuff.