Poles

My sister and I were in a store.  She wanted a new baseball cap for when she went outside.  She wanted an MSU one.  We were looking at some particular MSU ones, and noticed that all the smaller sizes were gone.  A young man helping us in the store noted that the opposite was true for the U of M hats; all the larger sizes were gone.
"That's because people at U of M have heads pumped up with hot air," I said jokingly.
It took him a moment, but he got it.  He laughed. 
Later on at the same store, I was holding one of those metal sticks that one uses for getting things down from high places while my sister was trying to decide on hats.  One of the other young men working in the store came up to me and asked if I liked poles. 
"I like all kinds of poles," I answered. 
Like most people who have never encountered me before, both of the young men standing there were both totally shocked.  What kind of girl says that?
My friends are used to my wit, but sometimes it takes other people by surprise.  I am used to this. 

"You should be a comedian," the second boy replied.  I get that a lot.  I told him I was a writer, and that some of the stuff I write is funny.  Most of the stuff I'm writing right now isn't, but that's because I have only had time to write when I am upset about something and am using my writing for therapy.  I use to write a lot of humorous short pieces and before that screenplays with the sense of humor you might see on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 
Tori is convinced I should be a comedian, and maybe one day I'll sit down and write a stand up piece and try it out on some poor, unsuspecting audience.  For the time being, it is nice to be recognized as a wit and to make people smile.  Making people smile and laugh is the most rewarding part, I can assure you. 

Con Virgin, part 2

Like I was saying in my last post, Matt and I spent a lot of time in the game room, since Matt was interested in learning more about games.  And, as I also mentioned in that post, I was looking to do a little amateur anthropology work.
The game room ended up being the best place to talk to people.  Whenever I'm in these situations, I feel very much like Elizabeth Bennet, since I find myself being witty and doing my best to endear myself to people.
I made jokes making fun of Republicans, and those went over surprisingly well.  Because of all the time I've spent with Dean over the past few years, I guess I've gotten it in my head that all nerds are libertarians, but my sense was they were liberals, which made me happy.
One of the people I ended up meeting was Matt Arnold.  When I first noticed he was wearing a tag with that name, I was tempted to ask him if that was really his name.  (The last time I saw that name, I was at Westminister Abbey.  Go on, look up who the historical figure is.)  I was impressed with certain things about him, and he seemed game enough for my wit.  (Along with his friend Nathan, who played along.  Score!)  Briefly looking around on his website, he appears to be way nerdier than I ever have been, but that's okay.  And the best news?  He appears to be pro-poly.      
I hate to admit it, but there were some cute boys there.  And there were some not-so-cute boys there who also had personality.  And, let's face it, I'm a personality fan.  If you want my immediate attention, sure, looking cute helps, but if you want to keep that attention long term, you better be something more.  It's too bad that I will certainly never see some of those boys again.  Some of them might be worth it.
The strangest thing that happened was that a young boy named Milo followed Matt and I out of the game room.  He introduced himself to us as Milo.  He was so young, and maybe a little too young to be wandering around the convention alone.  Matt totally blamed me for getting him to follow us around, but honest to God, I didn't do it on purpose.  I didn't even talk to the boy.  But, really, he seemed harmless enough, so no biggie.  
Matt and I also sat through this discussion of a steampunk movie maker.  The movies were well-made, and the one director seemed a little boring, but his best friend with him was hilarious and maybe manic.  I'd totally love to see the latter do nerdy stand-up. 
So maybe I didn't end up doing much in the way of anthropology, but that's not the end of the universe.  I definitely feel like, for the most part, people were very friendly.  There were a few people who were exactly like the most negative stereotype of nerds, but I was mostly pleased with the experience.  
Getting home?  Not so much.
Matt is wonderful and all, but he managed to get lost three times on the way back home.  I know what happened the last two times, but I'm still trying to figure out how the first time happened.  I wasn't paying attention because Matt and I were having an intense, heart-to-heart conversation and I was dealing with frantic text messages from my Mom, so I wasn't watching where Matt was going.  I think the first time he turned somewhere funny, because all he had to do was go straight before we hit a particular freeway.  At one point, it became clear we were going east when we were suppose to be going north.  And then for some reason, Matt turned around and went south. 

Last Night's Wit

Last night, my Mom had some friends over for a craft marathon.  My Mom loves making stuff like that. 
I'm not a huge fan of all my Mom's friends, but a lot of them seem to think I'm hilarious.
They were discussing my Mom's boss, Cherrie, who I hate.  Among other things, Cherrie likes to tell people who aren't Pentecostals that they're going to hell.  Obviously, as someone who believes in religious tolerance, I have little patience for this kind of stuff. 
Cherrie's what I like to call a Pharisee, one of those Christians that thinks that she somehow is better than others because of her religion.  (The name is a reference to a parable of Jesus covered in Luke 18:9-14).  Wrong.  She just likes to use religion to justify her own behavior. 
Anyway, Elizabeth (one of my Mom's friends) and my Mom were discussing Cherrie, and my Mom refrained from saying anything bad. 
"You know," I said "It's okay in this household to call Cherrie a selfish bitch.  It's the truth."
"You go girl!" Elizabeth said.  Yeah yeah. 
Later on in the evening, my Mom asked me if I had a zip drive she could borrow.  "Sorry," I said.
"You lost my purple zip drive."
"I didn't lose it.  I just don't know where it is." 
Elizabeth thought this was hilarious.
In truth, I'm almost certain my zip drives are in a particular backpack.  If not, they're buried with a bunch of my other college stuff.