Party at Erin's

When I first got there, I was surprised by how few people were there yet, as I came fashionably late.  I wasn't intending to be fashionably late so much as I got talking to Paul, Jimmy, Nate and Sam and then realized I was late.  
Jamie was there, and I decided to sit with her, which immediately Erin made an issue of.  Erin thinks something strange is going to with Jamie and I, which is ridiculous.  I mean, I like her, obviously; we're friends.  But Erin just gets really weird about the two of us talking to each other. 
Last year, the three of us, (Erin, Jamie and I) were in a class, and Jamie was always quiet.  She almost never talked.  Most of the other (predominately girls) were untalkative too, but because I knew Jamie, I spoke to her before class.  Erin did mention once that I was the only person who ever talked to her, which was sort of the point.  Jamie is nice, but shy.  Just because someone is shy doesn't mean they should be ignored.  I make it a special point to try to engage shy people, especially shy girls, because I know how hard it is in a new social setting with people you don't know.  It's easy to let your be unheard. 
I think one of the other problems was that I walked in and there happened not to be any chairs available, which wasn't necessarily a big deal, but a young man (thankfully, sitting next to Jamie) got out of his chair immediately and offered it to me.  I don't need men to always do the chivalric thing, but I try to be appreciative when they do.  I think the fact that I was dressed in a white dress with black curly designs all over it annoyed Erin too, because this wasn't necessarily the sort of party to come dressed up to.  Whatever.  I need more excuses to be dressed up for, and I'm happy to take whatever I can get. 
One of my many frustrations with this party was that I couldn't get a straight answer out of anyone about it.  I was invited, but no one could tell me when it was going to be.  Or where. 
So I was a little annoyed to discover that this party was BYOB, because seriously, no one said anything.  I had to nag Erin just to get her to tell me what was going on.  (And then happened to run into someone who actually did tell me what was up.) 
This is like in March when I went to a party with her and Carrie.  Before I got there, Carrie gave me three different addresses to the place, all of which turned out to be other places.  (I walked in on another concert, and when I asked about the event, the people there thought I was mad.)
Liz, who, for some reason was there, implied that I was stupid not to know better.  I actually could have brought something for myself, as I passed multiple stores in my walk over.
Liz isn't part of this group of friends, though obviously she's friends with Erin.  She's been hanging around a lot lately.  Erin told me in March that Liz had broken up with this guy that she's been with for years.  I felt bad for her because of the circumstances Erin described, which made it sound like this guy freaked out on her.
All that said, sometimes Liz can be really snarky, and I'm not sure how to react.  I always try to be nice, though it's a struggle for me sometimes.
Jamie very sweetly stepped in and offered to me some white wine, which sounded good to me.  We trooped downstairs to borrow glasses.  (I get the distinct impression Erin didn't plan much for this party, as the only thing she mentioned doing was cleaning.  To be fair, the cleaning probably took a long time.)
The basement is where the kitchen is and the huge table everyone eats at.  I'd been down here a couple of times before.  As Jamie and I trooped down there, we found one group of people trying to study.  (Someone later mentioned that Erin had probably pissed her housemates off by having this party at this time of year.)  When we turned into the dining area, there were Marguerite and Virginia.  I said hi to both of them, kind of surprised to see Virginia but not so much to see Marguerite as she lives there.  They both looked like they were working on homework, Virginia with her computer out.  Marguerite was working on an art project.  Part of her project was to illustrate some things, including a poem I had offered to let her use.  I asked her if that part was done, and she said not yet.
"I love that poem!" she gushed.  "You said some very true things and I love that you used a snake!"  (The snake was part of an image in the poem.
I was totally touched that she liked it so much.
Jamie and I got our glasses and headed upstairs.  We cheered and drank.
I got to talk to Anne, who I haven't seen in ages.  Anne was wearing this really tight, really short shorts.  The way her body was shaped and the way the chair was designed made it look at various times like she wasn't wearing anything on the bottom half of her body.  I knew what that felt like because I feel like I have awkward fashion moments all the time. 
Part of the time, I sat outside with Bobby and talked.  Bobby told me about the novel he wrote while he was in high school, which was apparently about unrequited love.  He implied heavily that it was written from personal experience.  Bobby is not physically attractive, but he's so great to talk to that I find it hard to believe some girl would be dumb enough to turn him down. 
While we were sitting outside, some friends coming late to the party came up and said hello.  Mostly they just drank and fooled around, and thinking Cory was done with whatever bad poetry reading he was doing, we headed back inside. 

Hanging with Jon

Jon and I hung out.  We went to this courtyard where we use to brainstorm ideas and talked about things going on in our lives. 
Jon has recently gotten engaged, which was the big news.  He told me about how he and his fiancee are planning their wedding. 
He also showed me some art he's been working on.  Apparently something he and his fiancee do.  It actually looked like stuff similar to the stuff my Mom likes to make. 
While we were sitting there, Nate and Sam walked by.  Nate complained that I hadn't been by to spend time with him enough.  It was a surprising thing to say, because I don't usually feel needed by anyone, and sometimes I get the distinct feeling people want me to go away. 
Which is not to say I mind.  Years ago, I complained about boys being too needy, but I don't feel that way about Nate.  It might be because he's not a needy person, or it could be that I like the Nate's neediness.  It makes me feel needed but not like I'm under emotional siege.  (Which was the problem, back then.  That and he was never very giving, in all senses of the word.) 
Jon and I continued our talk, and I gave him a gift.  Jon's been complaining about having writer's block, so I collected some cool quotes from writers and gave them to him.  He thanked me. 
I also saw one of my favorite conversational friends, but he was on the phone and just waved at me. 
Jon and I went into one of the buildings nearby and dropped in on an art gallery party.  Just because.  They had these really bizarre mini rolls.  They were like spring rolls, but smaller, and covered in this clear, kind of squishy film.  It sort of made me imagine the larvae of some science fiction alien monster, which meant that I wasn't really into them.  I felt like they should have been trying to move out of my hand as I ate them. 
Afterward, the party ended and we dropped in on a poetry reading.  I was mostly going because I had some friends who were going to be there and two who were reading, so I wanted to go to see what would happen. 
Bobby and his girlfriend were there.  I've actually never met his girlfriend before.  Unfortunately, I didn't really get a chance to talk to her.  But Bobby seemed good. 
Bobby also formerly introduced me to his best friend, Cory.  I actually met Cory last year, though I don't think he remembered me. 
A couple of different teachers introduced the reading.  Lia read first.  She read poems mostly in the style of Mary Oliver, who, if I'm remembering correctly, she likes.  She had one poem about shopping the grocery store late at night.  There was something about it that was very calm, very dreamy.  If I was writing that poem, it would be more scary or, at the least, fraught with a sense of how strange being under florescent lights late at night in a desolate place. 
Then Cory read.  Cory was more formal in delivery.  He felt more like listening to a professor.  He talked about his girlfriend, and how they didn't get along right away.  The poem he read that sticks out the most in my mind was about a pistachio.  No kidding.  It made me brainstorm another poem for myself about a similar subject. 
This is one of the many things I like about poetry readings: they always manage to make me want to write more. 
There were more people reading, but Jon and I had to leave because we had to go to Virginia's concert. 
(Like I've said I've been super busy.  Three events in one night.)
Virginia plays harp.  The night before, I had proofread her list of songs.  I'm embarrassed to say that, since she was playing mostly classical songs, I didn't recognize much that was on there. 
The concert had a lot of friends that I hadn't seen in a while: Dean, Jane, Marguerite, Erin, and Amanda were all there.  Jon sat with his fiancee.  I think I briefly shook her hand.  Marguerite was reading a sample of poems I sent her and complained that I didn't need to send sixteen pages.
"Yeah, but there was only five poems," I said in reply, which made people laugh. 
Virginia's parents and old teachers were there, which was nice to see.  Virginia's Dad was older than I imagined and Virginia's Mom looked more like a typical Mom than I imagined.  I sort of imagined that Virginia's Mom would look more like a hippie than she did.  Her teacher there seemed like a sweet old lady. 
Despite knowing Virginia for years now, I had never seen her play.  It was really nice.  I've always had a soft spot for harps.  When I was little, my favorite instrument was a harp.  I had a computer encyclopedia program and I would play their samples of harp music all the time.  (I also played the violin, piano and guitar samples a lot, which I guess is pretty telling too, in terms of my musical tastes now.  I love violin, especially when it's used in with a heavy beat, since that's uncommon.) 
Harp is such an impressive instrument, partly because of its size but also because of the detailed finger work one has to use.  Virginia also had a piano player accompany her and then later on, another harp player.  Erin and Marguerite really wanted pictures of this. 
During the intermission, I turned to everyone and said "I don't mean to brag guys, but I'm going home tonight with the musician."  This got laughs from people.  Obviously, since I was living with Virginia, I was literally going home with her, but the implication I was making about sleeping with her was false.  Virginia luckily thought this was funny, and she laughed and put her arm around me. 

A Friday Night for Myself and Others

One of the reasons I feel weird about being the center of attention for partying is that I'm apparently meant to make decisions for our own fun.  I don't like making the decisions and in any case, most of them get ignored if they don't make people happy. 
Anyway, so we were at our favorite restaurant, and we were thinking of moving on to somewhere else.  But I'm not much of a partier, so I didn't know where to go.  Claire was being particularly annoying about it.  Finally, Jenny stepped in and saved the day and was nice enough to suggest a particular place. 
When we got there, Ruth and I used the bathroom, and we both got a drink from the bar.  We were perfectly happy to just talk to each other.  Ruth was leaving for a while, and I know that I'm going to miss her dearly.  It was our last night together. 
Two men approached our group.  Neither of them were particularly attractive.  The first guy, who has a beard, was a jerk.  When I talked to him about my current employment situation, he was totally judgemental and unkind.  And then he also berated a recent decision I had made.  Part of wished I could explain my decision, but how to even begin?  All of my decisions reach back into my personal history; even deciding where the genesis of a decision came from is hard to decide.  I could have explained about all the reasons, but it would be a long story, and he had already demonstrated a lack of care for my personal feelings.  No thanks.  No way was I going home with this guy.
His friend seemed sweet enough, though a bit naive.  I liked him alright.  If he didn't have such a crap friend, I might have been willing to give him more of a chance.
They were both in finance, which later on made Ruth just cringe and complain.  "Ack!  Finance.  So boring."  I had to concur.  What could girls like Ruth and I have in common with someone like that? 
Jenny and Claire were both really liking these guys for reasons I never quite figured out.  The guys bought us cheap beer, which was totally crap. 
As I was standing there, finishing the beer up, so man at the bar told me I could have a drink that had been left there next to him.  He felt the need to tell me no one had taken it and that it wasn't drugged, which made me disinterested. 
Eventually, Ruth and decided to go home, and off we went, leaving Claire and Jenny.  We walked down the street, Ruth leading the way, as I wasn't totally sure I knew where we were going.  Ruth wanted to get some McDonald's before we went back home, and I reluctantly agreed.  The only time I seem to eat McDonald's is when I am with Ruth, who seems to prefer it as "drunk food." 
This time, ordering wasn't nearly as painful.  Ruth got herself some burger and fries and a massive drink, and we trooped back home.  We went to sit in the lounge.  Ruth didn't want to wake Hayley, her roommate, up, and we ate out there. 
There was a Norwegian girl sitting there when we came in, which surprised me because we usually are left alone there that late on Friday nights.  She talked to us about how much she hated old women, which actually sort of bothered me.  There was nothing about this young woman that I found all that impressive, and why she felt the need to hate on old women and things about them I don't generally find that terrible, really confuses me.  Ruth and I exchanged some of our patented looks. 
Eventually, we went our separate ways to go to bed.  It was around three in the morning before I finally went to bed.
I got about around nine fifteen the next morning, and I was surprisingly okay.  In fact, I felt almost great.   The only thing that wasn't so good was that I was possibly still drunk.  When I first woke up, I still had that swimming feeling that comes with being drunk. 
I had breakfast with Hayley and Ruth.  I couldn't seem to stomach my omelet, so I gave up on it.  Ruth informed me of what had happened to Claire and Jenny the rest of the night.  Apparently, Claire and Jenny went to another bar, and Jane tried to buy pot from someone.  Claire would not allow this to happen and dragged Jenny home.  Apparently Jenny refused to talk to Claire the rest of the way home.  They got home sometime between five and six. 
(Even later on, Jane would claim that she didn't remember any of this, though Claire certainly did.  She also was so drunk that she didn't get up all Saturday.) 
I had to work Saturday.  I usually don't, but as I was walking to work, I was struck by how nice of a day it was shaping up to be.  I walked down the street, admiring the sunshine and the warmth and the air, which felt strangely clear and fresh and almost as if it had never been used before.  It was relatively quiet, but there were people around, already out enjoying the day like I was. 
I ended up at work way earlier than necessary.  It took me a while to figure out where I needed to go, but once I did, seeing my coworker wasn't around, I sat down and waited for him.  As I sat there, being awkward, two other people at the table next to me were setting up.  A few even talked to me, saying nice things. 
One of the nice people was named Craig.  He came over to talk to me.  He said he knew my coworker, that he had seen him the night before.  "He had an empty bottle of wine." 
This particular coworker doesn't strike me as the kind to drink wine, but it sort of put an interesting image in my mind.  Sounded like he a Friday night similar to mine. 
Anyway, that's why he was late. 

Tokens

I went to a party.  We played this token game.  Basically, there was a massive pile of tokens and you got to take so many for each thing. 
For example, Faith would read "take one token if you made your bed today."  Obviously, as my form of making the bed is making sure the blankets are all on top, I didn't take a token. 
It was pretty fun.  Claire took all sorts of tokens that she wasn't meant to, including the end, where you got to take a token for not cheating.  Hayley, Ruth's roommate, came, and it was the first time I had ever spent lots of time with her.  Lavvy came a little late, but we let her play too. 
I didn't get to take too many tokens myself, but I was triumphant when one of them was "take four tokens if you went to church today."  One of the few times being religious in my group of friends as panned out. 
Mimi was being especially annoying during the game.  She kept interrupting Faith, and finally, putting on her best authority voice, told Mimi she was making the decisions.  All of my friends, clustered around a table, roared with laughter. 
I told all of them about my idea of having a garage sale type thing.  I was thinking it could be more like a table sale, where everyone sold the stuff they didn't need anymore. 

Superbowl Party

I spent the Superbowl at a party.  In years past, I would go hang out at Paul's place.  He'd usually have a huge party and I would always have a ton of fun. 
This year, Paul didn't have a party, so I guess I didn't miss anything.  So I went over to hang with some other friends this year. 
I guess what got me was how long the game felt this year.  And, like, boring.  Usually I have a great time watching the game, but after the halftime I lost all enthusiasm. 
Mimi was there, and she mostly talked about things that we totally random.  Amanda and I giggled a little about it.  Eventually Amanda got so bored with the game that she took a nap (and missed the Steelers getting another touchdown.) 
At the same time, I was chatting with Michael about the whole Af-Pak situation, which, I hate to say it, was way more interesting to me then the game. 
We were laughing at commercials when my Dad called me.  I don't know why my Dad was calling me when the Superbowl is clearly on, but I just ignored it.  I had sent him an email yesterday. 
Amanda woke up and we chatted about how few guys were here and how weird it was to not hear the deep bass sound of the guys or the popping sound of people opening up beers. 
This girl was at the party.  Like a lot of girls, she didn't know much about football.  I can sympathize, since when I'm around boys (especially certain boys) they make me feel bad, not even about not knowing the rules, but not every little things. 
But this girl asked if a team could win by one point.  Um...yes? 
Amanda said it best when she said it was an uneventful game and there weren't any good commercials. 
More than anything, going to this party and watching this game made me miss Paul.  If I was hanging with Paul, I'd be having a ball, but mostly I was just sort of disappointed. 

Saturday Night Prograstination

I realize most people my age go out to party on a Saturday night, but I'm mostly stuck inside, writing. 
I have some papers due and I have been working on them on and off, but I've been also typing up some poems I wrote Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon.  (Again, I wrote poems at work.  I am going to probably get caught, so I try desperately not to.)  The first poem I typed up this night is rather silly and possibly terrible, but since I share my writing with people so infrequently anyway, it doesn't seem like a big deal. 
Then I tried to get back to editing a shorter essay.  And then I got an idea for something I wanted to write, so I stopped to write down the draft of a poem.  (I know!  Another one.) 
After I had gotten that out of my system, I sat down again to edit another one of the essays.  I realized I had made a note to myself to look up something in Wide Sargasso Sea, which I was referencing in the essay.  Of course I've left the book at home.  I went last night to the library, couldn't find it.  So I tried online, just because I just need one tiny reference.  No luck, there's no online edition either.  I could probably leave it, since it's too big of a deal, but I wanted to check that I was remembering a set of allusions correctly. 
Then I started preparing a little to go home.  I still have a little less than a week to pack but I'm so busy that I'm afraid I'm not going to have enough time. 
And, it must be said, I always struggle when it comes to what I should pack and what I shouldn't.  I decided to take home my comics and some books and leave them there.  I have more books than I know what to do with here, and they're just so heavy.  In addition to writing here, I do keep a diary.  I finished one of my diaries up while here, so I'm taking that home and leaving it.  I'm probably going to take the current one I'm writing in home to so I can write in it.  I have a third diary that someone left on our community donation table.  It looks like the front set of pages was torn out and there's a small red stain on the side of the pages, but it's otherwise useable and the leather is very soft.  I am going to leave that here so I can write in it when I come back.  I have some postcards and letters I was meant to send that I'll just take home with me and post when I get back there. 
I did make the decision to leave some of my study materials here.  On the off chance I do get enough time to do some studying, I made myself a very long list of things I want to read up on, all of them English-centric, a good deal of them obscure ancient Greek mythology that I probably once knew but no longer remember.
At the very end of the night I chatted with Madison (who was working on a paper) about what the plans were for Christmas.  So far it's unclear if we're exchanging gifts or if someone is having a party, etc. 

Chicken Dip

So, some of my friends are having this little shindig tonight, and we were told to bring some food along.  The food was suppose to be "outside of the bag."  (I believe the person who sent me that text message meant "outside the box," but I think I got the gist.) 
I'm going with chicken dip, probably because no one is expecting me to bring something like that.  (We're a veggie platter family.)  It's just about to come out of the oven.
Meanwhile, I find myself writing a little ditty about chicken dip.  I'm not really sure why, but it sounds like something you'd hear in a cute little commercial.

Urban Legend

I was late. 
So, of course, this meant my ex-boyfriend Ben was there. 
My friends had texted earlier, asking if I was interested in going bowling.  I'm an okay bowler, but the only time I ever go is when this group of friends calls me.  So I said yes. 
I wasn't expecting to be late, but, among other things, it took me longer to get ready.  At the last minute, I decided to put some makeup on.  And now, standing in front of my ex-boyfriend, I was grateful I had. 
Ben and I dated what seems like a Millennium ago, but was really more like seven or eight years ago.  We had both gone on to separate schools and he had recently gotten married. Shannon, his new wife, was there too. 
Ben and I talked.  He was amicable, which was not always true in my memory.  He asked where I had gone to school.  He asked if I had dated a particular school mate.  I had, but it had ended three and a half years ago, and I told him so.  I was surprised that anyone had heard about it. 
"Well, everyone talked about it."
My stomach fell a little.  I didn't really want everyone to be talking about it.  Part of me wanted to forget about, and I certainly didn't like the idea of everyone else talking about it. 
Since I had seen Adam about a month ago, I knew that Ben was living in North Carolina, working as a teacher.  He said he was just up for a visit. 
"You're teaching history then?" I said.  He had always loved history. 
"Well, more like social studies.  I'm teaching fourth grade."
Oh.  I was surprised to hear that, as Ben had never really liked children.  He had once told me that he knew the two of us were going to be teachers, but that he would teach high school and I would be a professor.  Sometimes I think the predication is going to turn out right, other times I think it's going to be wrong.  I didn't voice my surprise. 
I congratulated him on getting married to Shannon, and was about to turn to greet her, but she went off to bowl.  She looked the same as she always had.  I was grateful that I looked passable. 
And then I ended the conversation.  I figured that Ben and Shannon wanted to get back to what they were doing, and they didn't want to interrupted by me.  
I sat down with my friends.  We got talking about a conversation we had the night before, about a man that was an urban legend, but that I was certain was very real.  One of Madison's college friends has an encounter with him, and I told her all about the stories I had heard over the years. 
"I want to find this guy," Madison said.
"I don't.  This guy apparently used a shotgun on himself and missed.  I don't want to know what kind of damage he could do if he was aiming it at someone else," I said.
Tori asked after my Grandma, which was very sweet.  I asked her about her cousin, who is coming all the way from Italy to visit her and her family.  (We are thinking of hanging out with him a little, just so he can hang with some people closer to his age.)  
We got talking about other things.  Eventually, Ben and Shannon and the rest of their party left.