Aggressive

I had lunch today with Vicki and Sharon.  Vicki and I were, at first, alone together, and we chatted amiably about nothing important. 
Then Sharon sat down.  She has been spending the past few weekends going to plays and ballets, and she told us she felt kind of guilty about spending money on things like that. 
But then we got talking about men, and I mentioned how frustrating it was sometimes, because guys were far more likely to react negatively towards my aggressiveness than women. 
"Well, it's because you're so intelligent," Sharon said. 
This again? I thought.  My ego so doesn't need this. 
I tried to direct this conversation away from that and onto the larger issue. 
I've been thinking about it since then, and I'm wondering if women don't react negatively to aggressiveness because they are used to men acting aggressively toward them anyway, so it's nothing they don't already deal with every day.  Men only deal with aggressiveness when it is in a fight or as an intimidation, so even well-intentioned, non-antagonistic aggressiveness automatically rubs them the wrong way, and they can't distinguish any difference in kinds of aggressiveness.