Compare and Contrast

I caught Sarah in the caf today.  Basically, I had told Lavvy a couple of days ago that I wanted to help Sarah clean out her place, which, among other things, is getting new carpeting.  I've never been to Sarah's place before, but apparently it is really messy and crammed with stuff. 
Sarah and I talked and I offered to help.  I told her about how a nasty comment Sharon made got me thinking about privilege and caring for other people. 
"Sharon systematically alienates people," Sarah explained. 
"Does she have low level autism?" I asked.  "There's something off about her socializing." 
Sarah considered, then said probably not.  Sarah claimed Sharon was jealous of her. 
I don't know.  I like Sarah, but, but as I imagine myself seeing from Sharon's eyes, there isn't anything about Sarah that I feel would make me jealous. 
At the same time, Sharon says a lot of strange things, often very hurtful to whom she says them to.  I've watched her say some really ugly things to Claire and Ruth, and I myself have been on the end of some of them.  (Elizabeth noted that she had said something stupid things in front of Tamar, which surprises me not at all.) 
Maybe the better way of describing Sharon is to say that Sharon is one of those people who is always comparing her life to your's, and not always making a great secret of it.  I've noticed this in some of my own friends, mostly Ashley but also sometimes Natasha and Laura.  Basically, they make you know that they compare their life to your's.  If they think they are doing better than you, they make sure you know how inferior you are.  If they think you are the one doing better, they are angry and resentful at you, because, clearly, it's your fault and you deserve to be punished.  The truth is that comparing yourself to anyone, no matter who it is and no matter how you react, it's a bad habit, one that leads to other bad habits that leave you either alone or unhappy or both.  Personally, I advise not doing it at all, and catching yourself when your mind wanders to those thoughts. 
I've found concentrating on the positive things in my life is the best way to be happy, or, when things aren't so good, the best way to be happier.  If you're happy with your life or at least making an effort to be, you're really better off.  Comparing always ends the same. 
This might be Sharon's thing.  She isn't happy, but instead of loving the good things in her life and working to fix and appropriately deal with the things that aren't, she sits around comparing.  She wallows in self-pity when she finds herself lacking in comparison with someone and she insults and belittles someone when she doesn't.  She alienates people by being mean and then feels bad about herself for losing another friend.
Sarah also mentioned that she thinks Sharon might be gay.  I could see that, though Sharon once mentioned an ex-boyfriend.  Sharon's been alone for a while, and maybe that's a problem too.  With a lot of the people who I note do this comparing thing, there tends to be a fair amount of loneliness in their lives.  The only exception is Laura, but I'm not sure if she's just not lonely or if she's just hiding it from me.  (Ashley and Natasha give off loneliness vibes, Ashley does it a lot more than the average person.) 
Anyway, it's something I'm going to be thinking about, especially as I observe Sharon. 
Sarah also mentioned that she gets along with everyone, which I kind of true.  There are a lot of people who I think she really just tolerates and they tolerate her back.