Email

I am furious at my Dad.  He sent me this really condescending email about some plans I am in the process of making. 
I realize that part of the problem is that my parents are incapable of communicating with one another, and so, instead of just talking to my Mom, he's emailed me.  And because he's all angry at no one consulting him, he's taking it out on me. 
I really want to write him a nasty email back; tell him not to bother worrying about it.  Or even less nasty email simply stating that I'll answer his emails in full when he talks to me with a little respect. 

A Family Project

My Mom told me a few days ago that she wants to make getting me into graduate school "a family project."  No thanks.
As much as I like where I ended up, I'm still angry and bitter at them for forcing me to go there.  Even though I had decent grades and had offers to try elsewhere, my family wouldn't hear of it.  They were too concerned for what was good for them to care about what might be good for me.  I don't think I'm ever forgiving them for cajoling me into those circumstances, especially after they have spent so much lip service carrying on about how important education is to them, and how they always support their children.  Please. 

And then my Dad felt the need to tell me that he wanted to meet with my professors to talk to them about this.  First off, I don't think my Dad (or Mom) deserve to meet anyone from school.  I was involved in extra curricular activities and they had plenty of opportunities to come to those, which they rarely did, even though I invited them.  They could have easily met people there, but I feel like now, especially after events in which very publicly, I was the only one without a family, they don't really deserve that opportunity. 
Also, I'm angry that my Dad can't just accept that what I'm saying is true.  I've spent the last four years or so working on either getting into graduate school or working on plan B, which was entering the publishing industry.  I went to lectures, and I have experience.  Mostly, I think my Dad just doesn't want to give in, and would rather make me do a program I don't want to do because I would waste another at least another two years instead of doing things I want to do. 
I'd appreciate some support, sure, but my parents are never really interested in what I want, and, frankly, dealing with them is just another distraction I don't need.  At least when I was at school they weren't around so I didn't have to worry about them.  They're not really about supporting me, they're about doing what is easy.  I am never a priority when I need them, but when they decide they don't like something, that's when they pay attention and meddle. 

Channel Surfing

School is starting again for everyone else, and so my Mom, Dad and I had to move a bunch of stuff in to the townhouse my sister's living in this year.  I was a little annoyed, since my sister didn't actually come this trip to move stuff.  She had to study, which also apparently including going out with her friends to a festival.
After I did some small things around the house, my Mom told me there wasn't anything else to do, so I was stuck there.  So I ended up watching tv, something I don't usually just do.  I have my shows that I'm crazy about, and that's what I watch, but I don't channel surf too often. 
I ended up on Criminal Minds, which I've decided (after about four episodes,) I like.  I like mysteries and police procedurals, and obviously have watched a lot of Law and Order, so this isn't surprising.

Also unsurprising: I'm enamored of Dr. Reid.  I don't usually think of myself as having a type, other than to say I love a smart man.  And Dr. Reid has all sorts of degrees and a mind that solves puzzles.  Hot.  Also, he's all dark and broody because he's afraid his mind is potentially dangerous.  So, basically, nerd plus Angel.  Love it.  Oh, and did I mention he has fabulous hair? 

Speaking of great minds: Bazinga, I am in love with Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD.  I really don't need to watch anymore tv, but I made the mistake of coming across the fanfiction, and, actually, yes, I prefer the fanfiction to the actual show.  There's something very mean spirited about the show.  None of the male characters seem to like each other that much, they just sort of tolerate one another.  And so much of the humor on the show is "Tee-hee!  These guys are nerds!  They have no self-awareness!"  Oh, and I'm annoyed that the one female character's a moron.  I hang out with a lot of nerds (sorry, guys, it's true), and much of the interactions ring false.  I guess I can't expect these guys to come off as charming and ultimately family-like to one another the want all my nerd friends do. 
But Sheldon himself is intriguing and bizarrely charming.  His accent, which I've honestly never heard, directly subverts the stereotypes about nerds.  And he is unabashedly himself, which I find admirable in a world where everyone's trying to sell themselves all the time. 
Fangirling it up sort of makes up for what I really wanted to do that day which was 1.) Go to a concert or 2.) Sleep.  (In that order.)  My Mom reminded me that my sister helped me move out, but that's not the same as I asked her not to come and was actually there for it.

Power Down pt. 3

The power went out again yesterday, which is why I didn't update yesterday.  (I was planning to, I swear.)
So much of what I do with my time requires the Internet or at least a computer.  Much of my keeping up with friends happens online, I search for job opportunities online, I do much of my writing on my Word processor, etc.  So I suddenly didn't have a lot to do. 
I went out for a walk.  I went through the park, and at one point, got accosted by a dog.  The owner was nice enough, but the law is they're suppose to be on a leash, but I swear at least half of the dogs I see around there aren't.  I didn't time it as well as I should have, and I came back really sweaty and gross.
I decided to take a quick shower to wash off with some soap.  Just as I was about to get in, my family came home.  I didn't really want them to know I had been out, so I jumped in a little faster than normal.
And when I came out, ten minutes later, they were gone again.
So I sat in one of the rooms with decent sunlight and read another three chapters of a book I am (slowly, agonizingly) working through.  So far, it was eight chapters total for the day, which is way more than I usually read, but, like I said, most of the stuff I needed or wanted to do was unavailable to me. 
Then I tried to lay down and sleep.  I feel in and out of sleep, at one point hearing my sister and Dad talk about my sister going to my Grandma's place.  My Mom was apparently there.  My sister had her final exam the next day and wanted somewhere to study.  She was complaining that she could never get things done with Mom around.  I think the real problem is the tv blasting, but I didn't get up to say anything.  And I feel back asleep. 
I woke up around 11:30, and now the house was completely dark.  No sunlight to use.  So I went downstairs and had a real shower.  I don't know where the hot water went (I didn't use it) but the shower was deathly cold.  I tried to do that thing where you shampoo your hair and then use the water, and it kind of worked, but I had goosebumps all over. 
I got a snack, which was tough to eat in the dark because I was having trouble seeing it, but I managed.  My Dad came down and mentioned to me that my sister was gone.  I actually wasn't sure, given the tenor of the conversation I overheard, what my sister had decided.  As I was eating, my Dad went up to bed. 
After I finished, I tried reading some more.  First I tried to make it work by moonlight, but that wasn't enough.  So then I tried flashlight.  I read another chapter.  Nine chapters is one day is a lot for me, at least right now.  I've got about two hundred more pages before I finish.  I was thinking I would read more, but I felt bad about using up valuable flashlight energy, so I decided to quit. 
As I was walking upstairs, my Dad thought I was a burglar or that one was downstairs, because he went to investigate.  Scared me a little. 
I couldn't sleep.  After my little trip back to school, I was pleasantly surprised by how I adjusted into a more normal sleep cycle.  I was so pleased at myself, because usually I can only keep it going for a day or two before it messes up.  But I managed this one for over a week.  And then all this strange no-power, screwed-up schedule ended it.  I guess I should have known it wasn't going to last. 
I did finally fall into an uneasy sleep before dawn.  I woke up to the sound of my Dad on the phone with someone, then him rustling around in the kitchen.  It meant the power wasn't on, and that he was probably trying to clean out the refrigerator before things went bad. 

"You Kids and Your Social Life"

Tori and Ashley and I spent the afternoon out together.  We ran into Erik, one of the boys we went to school with.  Erik and I had been in a gym class together my senior year.  I knew him because, at the time, he was dating one of my friends.  We had bonded over a mutual love of metal music.  Erik is now at MSU with so many of my other friends, though I don't know what he's studying.  We run into each other sometimes at MSU, but today we ran into each other at my hometown.  It was nice.  He is lucky enough to have a job this summer. 
I came home.  As I was taking off my shoes, my Dad came in.  "You want to get dinner?"
"Can't.  I have to shower and then I am going to see a show with Madison and some other people."
"You kids and your social life."
I've been thinking a lot about my Dad and his social life, or his lack of it.  Everyone else in our house has got stuff to do.  My Mom is running a business, taking care of my Grandma, and getting ready for a convention.  My sister is taking a class and has a job.  I'm working on and off, writing, applying for jobs and internships and catching up with old friends.  My Dad isn't doing any of that.  He mostly just gets up early and watches tv and go out for drives.  I think it's why he balks so much at everyone else being gone.  He has nothing else to really think about, which is why I get such frantic calls from him about what I'm doing.
Because of the time, I had to hurry to get ready.  I showered, ate some dinner (Lemon Rice soup, a favorite of mine), and got dressed.  I had texted Madison to ask what I should wear.  She said just a t-shirt and some jeans.  I was going to go for slightly fancier, since it is always better to be more dressed up than not.  For the first time since my steampunk convention, I used makeup.  I almost never wear makeup, and I'm proud of myself for only using it occasionally. 
Tori came and got me and we went over to Madison's.  When we got there, we found Lisa and Michael sitting in Michael's car outside Madison's house.  We chatted a bit.  Tori felt my arm and was like "Oh!  So soft."  She took my arm and stuck it into the car.  "Feel."  Both Lisa and Michael felt my arm and agreed.  With other people, this might have been a weird thing, but we've been around each other for so long that it didn't really faze me.  It was like when I spent time with Paul.  Paul and I lay all over each other, and neither the two of us or anyone else gets worked up about it.  And, to be fair, Tori, Lisa and Michael are not the first people to comment on my soft arms. 
We went inside and found Madison and her boyfriend Ted hanging out.  I haven't seen Ted since New Years' Eve.  He seems like a pretty cool dude.  Michael wanted to play some piano pieces he's learning, and he did.  He's an amazing piano player.
As we sat around waiting for Ashley, Tori told us that we should have told Ashley a half an hour before we meant her to show.  Ashley is notoriously late, and we almost always run late when we get together because of her.  I once showed up to something a half an hour late myself, and Tori was like "No worries.  You still beat Ashley here."
We sat around and chatted about things.  We talked about Michael's Dad, who drives Michael a little crazy.  I mentioned to everyone that I had met Michael's Dad, but that his Dad didn't acknowledge me, so maybe he doesn't remember me.  Michael laughed and said it was true.

Mauled

My Dad has this thing were he likes to go and walk around the Mall.  As someone who likes walks, this appeals to me.  As someone who doesn't like shopping, it's location does not.  But I decided I needed to get out today, so I went. 
It's been a really long time since I've been to the Mall.  I've been living elsewhere and when I am around, I'm usually too busy to even think about something like this.  The place hasn't changed much, honestly, but in the bad economy, a lot of stores have closed down.  It was kind of sad.  There were whole blocks of nothing. 
While we were walking about, my Dad noticed a sign advertising new aluminum-free deodorant at the Body Shop.  I've mentioned before that I'm on the hunt for aluminum-free products, the first one being deodorant.  Jennifer already pointed me to a place that sells some, and I like it so far.  It's good to know there are other options out there.  The guy was really shocked to see me so enthusiastic about the stuff.  Once you've read the research, you will be too, trust me.
I also hit up my favorite store at the Mall: Hot Topic.
I know that a lot of people like to hate on Hot Topic.  I can understand that, on the outside, it might look like a terrible thing.  But when I was a young girl and discovering my Goth-i-ness, Hot Topic was the only store I could go to for the things that were close to what I wanted for self-expression.  When you're only going to be able to buy stuff you save your allowance for and don't have your own car, a place like Hot Topic, which is accessible and relatively cheap, is a Godsend.  And really, most of the stores in Malls across America sell the same basic looks, and they always change based on "what's in" in mainstream fashion.  If you want something different, Hot Topic is one of the few distinctly differently places. 
I also went in to check on one of my friends, who I haven't seen in four years.  He's changed so much.  He has a beard that reminds me of Daniel's.  He's still super hot.  (Why did I not date him when I had the chance?  He's clearly perfect for me.)
He was giving me the scoop on some mutual friends.  Emily graduated.  Jack is awesome and amazing, as I already knew since I saw him six weeks ago.
What surprised me was what he said about Ben and Shannon.  Ben is my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in years either.  Not because we had a fight or anything, we just grew apart, and, strangely, not even over our breakup.  (We were really good friends in the two years after the breakup.)  I knew that Ben and Shannon got married this past December. 
What I didn't know was that they had packed up and moved last week for South Carolina.  They both got teaching jobs.  Ben once told me that I would probably end of teaching at the college level and he would probably teach high school.  Now, at the very least, the last part has become completely true.  And of course, I would be happy to teach at a college, but I don't know if that's ever going to work out.  There are no guarantees in life. 
I have mixed feelings about them moving.  On one hand, I'm sad there's no chance of me running into them, since I like them so much.  On the other hand, Ben had this fatalist thing going on when I was younger about how he would never leave our hometown, and he would live here forever, just like countless generations of his family before him.  I'm glad to hear he actually got out of here, even if it's before me.