Last night, I was sitting in the lounge watching tv when Ruth came in. She was drunk, and giggly, because her drunk is always giggly. And she had a problem.
A few weeks back, she had gone out with a guy over dinner. And then the next week, drinks. And then the next week, drinks again. I told her this was all a bad idea, because he was paying for things, and that meant there were certain expectations.
Ruth was totally thick when I said that, and I tried to explain to her that going out with a guy multiple times, like this, implied they were dating. Ruth and Jenny decided this was ridiculous, that's not how it works. Lavvy, thankfully, sided with me, saying that this guy (Ruth won't even give me a name because she's paranoid I'll track him down, which is so strange, because I honestly didn't even think that until Ruth made the suggestion) probably does think they're dating, and that's the important bit.
I told Ruth she needed to have a face-to-face meeting, gently tell him she's seeing someone else and that she would like to be friends and drinking buddies. Ruth never likes this idea. She doesn't want to meet face-to-face, she'd rather send an email. (This always causes me to wonder what is wrong with her; who the hell sends emails like that in this day and age? What is this, 1997?) Then I suggested that she just not-subtly mention her boyfriend, as a way of indicating his importance to her to this guy friend. No, she just gives another exasperated sigh.
So last night, after getting drunk together, this guy tried to kiss Ruth.
"I told you so," I said, as I sat there. Ruth apparently told him, in her flummoxed state, that she had a wife, which she explained to me and made no sense. It might have been the drunken state.
Ruth went into a bit of a rant about boys and how stupid they are and how they always manage to find her. She told me about this guy named Ben, who is coming to visit soon.
"I'm going to make Ben and this other guy meet, because then they'll see their stupid behavior within each other and then themselves and then they won't chase after me."
I disagree. I suspect that these guys are not going to get that they are both being ridiculous, and instead, they will just see that the other one likes Ruth and it'll turn competitive.
(As a side note, what do you readers think about this?)
She told me some stories about when her Dad had cancer and she was crying and Ben kissed her, even though he had a girlfriend.
"Wait," I said. "I though crying was a turnoff for guys."
"Really?" said Ruth. "I've found it's a great way to get guys. It probably makes them feel all needed and protective."
Oh great. It's not enough for a guy to like me, I have to make him feel like he's being a man and protecting me.
We giggled for a while, talking about other things like our work, and she complained to me about this essay she's writing and we were relatively merry. Then one of the spazzier women came in wanting to watch a tv documentary about 2012. (I'm so not even kidding.) We let her, even though she apologized twenty times and tried to get us to stay. I explained to her that we were fine and were leaving anyway.
I wish Ruth would have listened to me and nipped this thing in the bud. Something tells me there's going to be a lot more drama on the way, even if she does avoid this guy as she's decided to.
Showing posts with label Ben. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ben. Show all posts
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Urban Legend
I was late.
So, of course, this meant my ex-boyfriend Ben was there.
My friends had texted earlier, asking if I was interested in going bowling. I'm an okay bowler, but the only time I ever go is when this group of friends calls me. So I said yes.
I wasn't expecting to be late, but, among other things, it took me longer to get ready. At the last minute, I decided to put some makeup on. And now, standing in front of my ex-boyfriend, I was grateful I had.
Ben and I dated what seems like a Millennium ago, but was really more like seven or eight years ago. We had both gone on to separate schools and he had recently gotten married. Shannon, his new wife, was there too.
Ben and I talked. He was amicable, which was not always true in my memory. He asked where I had gone to school. He asked if I had dated a particular school mate. I had, but it had ended three and a half years ago, and I told him so. I was surprised that anyone had heard about it.
"Well, everyone talked about it."
My stomach fell a little. I didn't really want everyone to be talking about it. Part of me wanted to forget about, and I certainly didn't like the idea of everyone else talking about it.
Since I had seen Adam about a month ago, I knew that Ben was living in North Carolina, working as a teacher. He said he was just up for a visit.
"You're teaching history then?" I said. He had always loved history.
"Well, more like social studies. I'm teaching fourth grade."
Oh. I was surprised to hear that, as Ben had never really liked children. He had once told me that he knew the two of us were going to be teachers, but that he would teach high school and I would be a professor. Sometimes I think the predication is going to turn out right, other times I think it's going to be wrong. I didn't voice my surprise.
I congratulated him on getting married to Shannon, and was about to turn to greet her, but she went off to bowl. She looked the same as she always had. I was grateful that I looked passable.
And then I ended the conversation. I figured that Ben and Shannon wanted to get back to what they were doing, and they didn't want to interrupted by me.
I sat down with my friends. We got talking about a conversation we had the night before, about a man that was an urban legend, but that I was certain was very real. One of Madison's college friends has an encounter with him, and I told her all about the stories I had heard over the years.
"I want to find this guy," Madison said.
"I don't. This guy apparently used a shotgun on himself and missed. I don't want to know what kind of damage he could do if he was aiming it at someone else," I said.
Tori asked after my Grandma, which was very sweet. I asked her about her cousin, who is coming all the way from Italy to visit her and her family. (We are thinking of hanging out with him a little, just so he can hang with some people closer to his age.)
We got talking about other things. Eventually, Ben and Shannon and the rest of their party left.
So, of course, this meant my ex-boyfriend Ben was there.
My friends had texted earlier, asking if I was interested in going bowling. I'm an okay bowler, but the only time I ever go is when this group of friends calls me. So I said yes.
I wasn't expecting to be late, but, among other things, it took me longer to get ready. At the last minute, I decided to put some makeup on. And now, standing in front of my ex-boyfriend, I was grateful I had.
Ben and I dated what seems like a Millennium ago, but was really more like seven or eight years ago. We had both gone on to separate schools and he had recently gotten married. Shannon, his new wife, was there too.
Ben and I talked. He was amicable, which was not always true in my memory. He asked where I had gone to school. He asked if I had dated a particular school mate. I had, but it had ended three and a half years ago, and I told him so. I was surprised that anyone had heard about it.
"Well, everyone talked about it."
My stomach fell a little. I didn't really want everyone to be talking about it. Part of me wanted to forget about, and I certainly didn't like the idea of everyone else talking about it.
Since I had seen Adam about a month ago, I knew that Ben was living in North Carolina, working as a teacher. He said he was just up for a visit.
"You're teaching history then?" I said. He had always loved history.
"Well, more like social studies. I'm teaching fourth grade."
Oh. I was surprised to hear that, as Ben had never really liked children. He had once told me that he knew the two of us were going to be teachers, but that he would teach high school and I would be a professor. Sometimes I think the predication is going to turn out right, other times I think it's going to be wrong. I didn't voice my surprise.
I congratulated him on getting married to Shannon, and was about to turn to greet her, but she went off to bowl. She looked the same as she always had. I was grateful that I looked passable.
And then I ended the conversation. I figured that Ben and Shannon wanted to get back to what they were doing, and they didn't want to interrupted by me.
I sat down with my friends. We got talking about a conversation we had the night before, about a man that was an urban legend, but that I was certain was very real. One of Madison's college friends has an encounter with him, and I told her all about the stories I had heard over the years.
"I want to find this guy," Madison said.
"I don't. This guy apparently used a shotgun on himself and missed. I don't want to know what kind of damage he could do if he was aiming it at someone else," I said.
Tori asked after my Grandma, which was very sweet. I asked her about her cousin, who is coming all the way from Italy to visit her and her family. (We are thinking of hanging out with him a little, just so he can hang with some people closer to his age.)
We got talking about other things. Eventually, Ben and Shannon and the rest of their party left.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Brunch at Ben's
Ben was gracious enough to invite us over for biscuits and gravy at his place for brunch. I was hoping for the opportunity to see Daniel and Danny, two of the only people I hadn't seen yet on this trip.
I made the mistake of telling Ben the day before about how I had met my first boyfriend online (in the dark days of the Internet, before Facebook or Myspace) at fourteen.
"Fourteen?" he had repeated.
"I was very sophisticated," I had said, which was a total lie. I doubt I qualify as that now. But my comment made Ben decide to play some old jazz music, which I enjoyed.
I complained to them about the mosquito bites I got the day before. Every time I'm out even at little at night in the Summertime, I get eaten up. I had seven of them, mostly on my ankles.
Ben's food, like Jimmy's, was delicious. Again, those two boys can cook for me any time they want. (Ben for breakfast, Jimmy for dinner. Hell, I bet I could get Paul to handle lunch. Then I would be the happiest and most well-fed girl in all the world.) I was a little wary of the gravy, since I usually despise it. But it was good, and it went well with the biscuits that Paul and Jimmy got for us. And there was lemonade, so I was happy.
Sadly, I couldn't hang around long because of all the drama going on at home, so I had to leave. I missed seeing Danny and Daniel. What a pity, right? I haven't spoken to either of them that much since graduation.
I went back to Nate's place, packed up my stuff. I left a thank you note for Nate. My Dad came, we loaded the car. I got the weirdest feeling that I was missing something, so I kept checking my stuff. I checked for my ID, money, jewelry, dresses, everything there.
So we went home. It was uneventful back, but I was so tired by the time we got home. All I wanted to do was to lay down. We were suppose to go to a party for Alicia, who is going to MSU this coming year herself. But I didn't want to move anywhere, plus it was raining.
As I was looking to lay down, I noticed my pillow was gone. And then it occurred to me. I hadn't packed my pillow. I had forgotten something at MSU.
Maybe this was a sign that I was, indeed, incapable of leaving MSU, because every time I was there, I kept forgetting to bring something home. And not, say, my heart or anything like that but real stuff, like hoodies and locks and now my pillow. Maybe this is a sign that I'm always going to need a reason to go back. I felt like a moron. I texted Nate, and he said he would guard my stuff.
Then I finally laid down and got myself some decent sleep. Couch surfing at Nate's was fine for a few days, but I wouldn't want to do it long term. Not good for my back.
I made the mistake of telling Ben the day before about how I had met my first boyfriend online (in the dark days of the Internet, before Facebook or Myspace) at fourteen.
"Fourteen?" he had repeated.
"I was very sophisticated," I had said, which was a total lie. I doubt I qualify as that now. But my comment made Ben decide to play some old jazz music, which I enjoyed.
I complained to them about the mosquito bites I got the day before. Every time I'm out even at little at night in the Summertime, I get eaten up. I had seven of them, mostly on my ankles.
Ben's food, like Jimmy's, was delicious. Again, those two boys can cook for me any time they want. (Ben for breakfast, Jimmy for dinner. Hell, I bet I could get Paul to handle lunch. Then I would be the happiest and most well-fed girl in all the world.) I was a little wary of the gravy, since I usually despise it. But it was good, and it went well with the biscuits that Paul and Jimmy got for us. And there was lemonade, so I was happy.
Sadly, I couldn't hang around long because of all the drama going on at home, so I had to leave. I missed seeing Danny and Daniel. What a pity, right? I haven't spoken to either of them that much since graduation.
I went back to Nate's place, packed up my stuff. I left a thank you note for Nate. My Dad came, we loaded the car. I got the weirdest feeling that I was missing something, so I kept checking my stuff. I checked for my ID, money, jewelry, dresses, everything there.
So we went home. It was uneventful back, but I was so tired by the time we got home. All I wanted to do was to lay down. We were suppose to go to a party for Alicia, who is going to MSU this coming year herself. But I didn't want to move anywhere, plus it was raining.
As I was looking to lay down, I noticed my pillow was gone. And then it occurred to me. I hadn't packed my pillow. I had forgotten something at MSU.
Maybe this was a sign that I was, indeed, incapable of leaving MSU, because every time I was there, I kept forgetting to bring something home. And not, say, my heart or anything like that but real stuff, like hoodies and locks and now my pillow. Maybe this is a sign that I'm always going to need a reason to go back. I felt like a moron. I texted Nate, and he said he would guard my stuff.
Then I finally laid down and got myself some decent sleep. Couch surfing at Nate's was fine for a few days, but I wouldn't want to do it long term. Not good for my back.
Dinner at Jimmy's
I stood in Jimmy's room, trying to ignore all the signs of life that I would normally find interesting. I was on the phone with my Dad.
"Can I come home a little later?" I asked. I figured the answer would be no, because my Grandma was in the hospital, again. And to some degree, rightly so.
"Why?"
"I got invited to a brunch with some friends."
"Okay."
I was relieved. I wanted to squeeze out every last drop of goodness from this trip, especially since it looked like I wouldn't be coming home to anything good. I had a bunch of business to attend to immediately coming home.
This trip ended up being far more stressful than I thought it would be, mostly because the problems that I had last semester (my Grandma being sick, friends needing support, my various boy problems) all flared up again. Mostly, it made me think that for all my trying to move on, nothing has really changed yet. It's been a disappointment, to be honest. I steeled myself to go back out to everyone.
Luckily, no one asked what the phone call was about. Maybe, given what they know about me, they could have already guessed.
Paul was working on shredding cheese for our meal. Jimmy was cutting up onions. There was nothing for me to do (though I offered to pay for my bit of the meal), so I watched.
"That's some great cutting," I told Jimmy. It looked like the moves you see on one of those cooking programs.
Jimmy didn't say anything, as usual.
"Jimmy won't take a compliment," I explained to Ben, who was sitting at Jimmy's computer in the living room area. Ben laughed. "I'm working on him."
Ben, meanwhile, was watching YouTube videos, everyone's favorite way to blow off time. He told us he really liked Old Spice commercials, which sort of baffles me, because there's something gross and sleazy about so many of them. We found one featuring everyone's favorite child star, Neil Patrick Harris.
Then Paul got on my political hero, Robert Byrd. After looking awhile, we found what I consider his best speech, where he tells people he's older. Ben watched it and said it was a really good speech.
Once Jimmy finished the dinner, we ate. It was delicious. Everyone fell silent as we ate. Jimmy said that was a huge compliment in itself. I'd be happy to have Jimmy cook for me all the time.
Ben, it turns out, is a fan of Doctor Who. Perhaps someone tipped him off to my love about it, because we got talking about it. He was telling me he had just watched "The Lodger."
"That's the episode right before the two episode season finale." Don't be surprised by this recall of mine. I often am the one correcting people's knowledge of the show.
They were apparently showing that first episode of the finale, which I told him was good. He was all baffled by my geekiness. Get used to it, I thought.
We then started on the dishes.
"Can I come home a little later?" I asked. I figured the answer would be no, because my Grandma was in the hospital, again. And to some degree, rightly so.
"Why?"
"I got invited to a brunch with some friends."
"Okay."
I was relieved. I wanted to squeeze out every last drop of goodness from this trip, especially since it looked like I wouldn't be coming home to anything good. I had a bunch of business to attend to immediately coming home.
This trip ended up being far more stressful than I thought it would be, mostly because the problems that I had last semester (my Grandma being sick, friends needing support, my various boy problems) all flared up again. Mostly, it made me think that for all my trying to move on, nothing has really changed yet. It's been a disappointment, to be honest. I steeled myself to go back out to everyone.
Luckily, no one asked what the phone call was about. Maybe, given what they know about me, they could have already guessed.
Paul was working on shredding cheese for our meal. Jimmy was cutting up onions. There was nothing for me to do (though I offered to pay for my bit of the meal), so I watched.
"That's some great cutting," I told Jimmy. It looked like the moves you see on one of those cooking programs.
Jimmy didn't say anything, as usual.
"Jimmy won't take a compliment," I explained to Ben, who was sitting at Jimmy's computer in the living room area. Ben laughed. "I'm working on him."
Ben, meanwhile, was watching YouTube videos, everyone's favorite way to blow off time. He told us he really liked Old Spice commercials, which sort of baffles me, because there's something gross and sleazy about so many of them. We found one featuring everyone's favorite child star, Neil Patrick Harris.
Then Paul got on my political hero, Robert Byrd. After looking awhile, we found what I consider his best speech, where he tells people he's older. Ben watched it and said it was a really good speech.
Once Jimmy finished the dinner, we ate. It was delicious. Everyone fell silent as we ate. Jimmy said that was a huge compliment in itself. I'd be happy to have Jimmy cook for me all the time.
"That's the episode right before the two episode season finale." Don't be surprised by this recall of mine. I often am the one correcting people's knowledge of the show.
They were apparently showing that first episode of the finale, which I told him was good. He was all baffled by my geekiness. Get used to it, I thought.
We then started on the dishes.
Lunch with Paul
Nate and I had a long talk, mostly about relationships, and then we retired to our separate rooms. Nate and I, I suspect, could really live together. I think we get along swimmingly.
The next morning, we were waiting for a call from Jimmy, who was going to be able to tell us what was the what when it came to Paul visiting. Paul was really the reason for this entire visit. At the beginning of the month, Paul texted me, saying that he was going to visiting, and that maybe I should consider coming too. Twenty minutes later, Nate texted me, also saying that I should come visit. It took a bit of work, but I managed it. And now I was finally going to see the person I wanted to see: Paul.
As I was waiting, I began setting out my stuff to retouch my toenails. As I was just about to start, Nate got the call. Paul was indeed here. So we should all meet over at Jimmy's place.
When we got there, Jimmy cracked open the door. There he was, his beard recently trimmed. I hugged him and it felt so good and familiar. And then I hugged Paul, and again, good and familiar. Then next thing I thought was "Damn, Paul's lost some weight." Like, at least ten pounds.
Ben was going to hang out with us too, so we walked to a Chinese food place via Jimmy's suggestion. Paul joked about how Jimmy had taken Kristina to this same place for their dinner before the Honor's College Ball. I hadn't heard this but I was sort of horrified. I mean, I don't know if going out before hand is necessary, but seriously, not some hole in the wall with suspicious looking furniture.
It was broiling hot outside. I was grateful that I had worn a light shirt and capris. We sat inside, but I could feel sweet build on my forehead and above my lips.
We ordered food. We ate. We watched this scary television program they were playing in the restaurant.
I haven't seen Ben in a while, and he announced he's going to graduate school in Sweden. Ben has Swedish ancestry, so this isn't totally strange, but he doesn't speak Swedish.
I have personally considered going to England or Canada for graduate school, but the idea of going to Sweden (or any other non-English speaking country) has never occurred to me. Apparently you don't need good grades either, as Ben assured me. I would like to go somewhere far away for graduate school, but this has problems too. One one hand, I like traveling and having adventures and being far away means my parents are more likely to keep their distance. On the other hand, I'll be far from my friends, and I want to be around them.
After we ate, we headed over to this record store that I frequent. Again, I found myself thinking about how I hadn't gotten to do so much in college. I had a whole fantasy involving going to this store with a young man, going back to his place and putting on some spacey records, laying on our backs and having one of those long conversations that you have with someone you love. And then being totally junior high and making out.
As you can see, in addition to having a real life, I have a pretty active fantasy life.
We mostly talked while in the store, though Ben got excited when he saw some stereo equipment on sale for a good price.
"If you don't buy it, it's like you're losing money," I said.
"Yeah, that's exactly how I feel!"
I don't really know Ben as well as the other boys, and maybe that's another failing on my part. I seem to have managed not to do anything right in college.
The next morning, we were waiting for a call from Jimmy, who was going to be able to tell us what was the what when it came to Paul visiting. Paul was really the reason for this entire visit. At the beginning of the month, Paul texted me, saying that he was going to visiting, and that maybe I should consider coming too. Twenty minutes later, Nate texted me, also saying that I should come visit. It took a bit of work, but I managed it. And now I was finally going to see the person I wanted to see: Paul.
As I was waiting, I began setting out my stuff to retouch my toenails. As I was just about to start, Nate got the call. Paul was indeed here. So we should all meet over at Jimmy's place.
When we got there, Jimmy cracked open the door. There he was, his beard recently trimmed. I hugged him and it felt so good and familiar. And then I hugged Paul, and again, good and familiar. Then next thing I thought was "Damn, Paul's lost some weight." Like, at least ten pounds.
Ben was going to hang out with us too, so we walked to a Chinese food place via Jimmy's suggestion. Paul joked about how Jimmy had taken Kristina to this same place for their dinner before the Honor's College Ball. I hadn't heard this but I was sort of horrified. I mean, I don't know if going out before hand is necessary, but seriously, not some hole in the wall with suspicious looking furniture.
It was broiling hot outside. I was grateful that I had worn a light shirt and capris. We sat inside, but I could feel sweet build on my forehead and above my lips.
We ordered food. We ate. We watched this scary television program they were playing in the restaurant.
I haven't seen Ben in a while, and he announced he's going to graduate school in Sweden. Ben has Swedish ancestry, so this isn't totally strange, but he doesn't speak Swedish.
I have personally considered going to England or Canada for graduate school, but the idea of going to Sweden (or any other non-English speaking country) has never occurred to me. Apparently you don't need good grades either, as Ben assured me. I would like to go somewhere far away for graduate school, but this has problems too. One one hand, I like traveling and having adventures and being far away means my parents are more likely to keep their distance. On the other hand, I'll be far from my friends, and I want to be around them.
After we ate, we headed over to this record store that I frequent. Again, I found myself thinking about how I hadn't gotten to do so much in college. I had a whole fantasy involving going to this store with a young man, going back to his place and putting on some spacey records, laying on our backs and having one of those long conversations that you have with someone you love. And then being totally junior high and making out.
As you can see, in addition to having a real life, I have a pretty active fantasy life.
We mostly talked while in the store, though Ben got excited when he saw some stereo equipment on sale for a good price.
"If you don't buy it, it's like you're losing money," I said.
"Yeah, that's exactly how I feel!"
I don't really know Ben as well as the other boys, and maybe that's another failing on my part. I seem to have managed not to do anything right in college.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Mauled
My Dad has this thing were he likes to go and walk around the Mall. As someone who likes walks, this appeals to me. As someone who doesn't like shopping, it's location does not. But I decided I needed to get out today, so I went.
It's been a really long time since I've been to the Mall. I've been living elsewhere and when I am around, I'm usually too busy to even think about something like this. The place hasn't changed much, honestly, but in the bad economy, a lot of stores have closed down. It was kind of sad. There were whole blocks of nothing.
While we were walking about, my Dad noticed a sign advertising new aluminum-free deodorant at the Body Shop. I've mentioned before that I'm on the hunt for aluminum-free products, the first one being deodorant. Jennifer already pointed me to a place that sells some, and I like it so far. It's good to know there are other options out there. The guy was really shocked to see me so enthusiastic about the stuff. Once you've read the research, you will be too, trust me.
I also hit up my favorite store at the Mall: Hot Topic.
I know that a lot of people like to hate on Hot Topic. I can understand that, on the outside, it might look like a terrible thing. But when I was a young girl and discovering my Goth-i-ness, Hot Topic was the only store I could go to for the things that were close to what I wanted for self-expression. When you're only going to be able to buy stuff you save your allowance for and don't have your own car, a place like Hot Topic, which is accessible and relatively cheap, is a Godsend. And really, most of the stores in Malls across America sell the same basic looks, and they always change based on "what's in" in mainstream fashion. If you want something different, Hot Topic is one of the few distinctly differently places.
I also went in to check on one of my friends, who I haven't seen in four years. He's changed so much. He has a beard that reminds me of Daniel's. He's still super hot. (Why did I not date him when I had the chance? He's clearly perfect for me.)
He was giving me the scoop on some mutual friends. Emily graduated. Jack is awesome and amazing, as I already knew since I saw him six weeks ago.
What surprised me was what he said about Ben and Shannon. Ben is my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in years either. Not because we had a fight or anything, we just grew apart, and, strangely, not even over our breakup. (We were really good friends in the two years after the breakup.) I knew that Ben and Shannon got married this past December.
What I didn't know was that they had packed up and moved last week for South Carolina. They both got teaching jobs. Ben once told me that I would probably end of teaching at the college level and he would probably teach high school. Now, at the very least, the last part has become completely true. And of course, I would be happy to teach at a college, but I don't know if that's ever going to work out. There are no guarantees in life.
I have mixed feelings about them moving. On one hand, I'm sad there's no chance of me running into them, since I like them so much. On the other hand, Ben had this fatalist thing going on when I was younger about how he would never leave our hometown, and he would live here forever, just like countless generations of his family before him. I'm glad to hear he actually got out of here, even if it's before me.
It's been a really long time since I've been to the Mall. I've been living elsewhere and when I am around, I'm usually too busy to even think about something like this. The place hasn't changed much, honestly, but in the bad economy, a lot of stores have closed down. It was kind of sad. There were whole blocks of nothing.
While we were walking about, my Dad noticed a sign advertising new aluminum-free deodorant at the Body Shop. I've mentioned before that I'm on the hunt for aluminum-free products, the first one being deodorant. Jennifer already pointed me to a place that sells some, and I like it so far. It's good to know there are other options out there. The guy was really shocked to see me so enthusiastic about the stuff. Once you've read the research, you will be too, trust me.
I also hit up my favorite store at the Mall: Hot Topic.
I know that a lot of people like to hate on Hot Topic. I can understand that, on the outside, it might look like a terrible thing. But when I was a young girl and discovering my Goth-i-ness, Hot Topic was the only store I could go to for the things that were close to what I wanted for self-expression. When you're only going to be able to buy stuff you save your allowance for and don't have your own car, a place like Hot Topic, which is accessible and relatively cheap, is a Godsend. And really, most of the stores in Malls across America sell the same basic looks, and they always change based on "what's in" in mainstream fashion. If you want something different, Hot Topic is one of the few distinctly differently places.
I also went in to check on one of my friends, who I haven't seen in four years. He's changed so much. He has a beard that reminds me of Daniel's. He's still super hot. (Why did I not date him when I had the chance? He's clearly perfect for me.)
He was giving me the scoop on some mutual friends. Emily graduated. Jack is awesome and amazing, as I already knew since I saw him six weeks ago.
What surprised me was what he said about Ben and Shannon. Ben is my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in years either. Not because we had a fight or anything, we just grew apart, and, strangely, not even over our breakup. (We were really good friends in the two years after the breakup.) I knew that Ben and Shannon got married this past December.
What I didn't know was that they had packed up and moved last week for South Carolina. They both got teaching jobs. Ben once told me that I would probably end of teaching at the college level and he would probably teach high school. Now, at the very least, the last part has become completely true. And of course, I would be happy to teach at a college, but I don't know if that's ever going to work out. There are no guarantees in life.
I have mixed feelings about them moving. On one hand, I'm sad there's no chance of me running into them, since I like them so much. On the other hand, Ben had this fatalist thing going on when I was younger about how he would never leave our hometown, and he would live here forever, just like countless generations of his family before him. I'm glad to hear he actually got out of here, even if it's before me.
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