Walking and Dancing in the Streets

I went out for one of my walks today.  I have favorite spots I like to sit at to enjoy the day.  At the second place I sit, I sort of twirled around a bit, because I was in an excellent mood. 
As I was sitting there, I watched a young woman lay down on the cobblestone ground and take pictures of two young women, dressed up very fancily, walk towards her.  And every time they tried to get pictures, a car would come by.  By the time they replaced themselves down on the ground, it was already too late, another car was coming. 
Man, I know how that feels. 

Long Walk Kind of Day

Went out to the park today.  I use to take walks, consistently, every day, but I've been so busy lately I haven't had the time. 
I was first annoyed with myself because I forgot my music.  Not that it's necessary, but I love to have a soundtrack when I'm out and about. 
One of the things I've noticed this year is how muted the colors have been.  I'm used to them being super bright, but they just seem to be turning brownish as quickly as possible.  I'm wondering if this is a weather thing or a pollution thing (as Dan mentioned to me last night) or maybe a combination of factors.  Anyway, for the most part, the trees have been disappointing this year in terms of color.  I spotted one tree that was layered with four different colors on it, but most trees were either green or orangy brown.  This saddens me deeply, because there are those couple of trees near the auditorium that are usually gorgeous yellow, like the color of a kid's crayon, and all I get is muddled colors this year. 
Also: the lack of wildlife!  I'm used to seeing so many squirrels, all over each other, and I think I spotted two the whole day.  (One with a very large chunk of apple or bread.)  I saw two packs of ducks and one swan.  And a couple of birds that were white with black spots, which I've never seen before. 
I did a bit of rock climbing, which I'm sure my Mom would yell at me for since I wasn't really in the proper shoes for it.  At the top of one of the first rocks I climbed up, I saw this big nail in the top, which I still haven't figured out what that's for. 
Not much in terms of people watching today either.  Saw a couple of older ladies, one who had this stripped bag and another wearing leggings and a plaid suit jacket, but generally no one that interesting. 
I apologize for my complaining.  It was in no way all bad; in fact, it was very lovely.  I have a strange love for the details of nature.  For example, I totally fell in love with a hollowed out tree stump today.  Later on I saw a tree with this tear shaped hole near its roots that I thought was very beautiful.  And the way the shadows of trees fell caught me by surprise.  And a lot of the rocks I climbed were sparkling in the sun, which I always feel is out of place, since it makes me think of being at a club or Lady Gaga more than it makes me think of nature.  I also saw this tree that had its bottom half of its trunk covered in some kind of vine and then one very ambitious vine going straight up its side, for about a yard.  Or even the way a set of stone stairs can be perfectly covered in leaves, as I saw today, can make me really happen.  I like little details.   
I also went past a jungle gym, and I realized it had been ages since I played on one.  (I can remember babysitting a little boy once and playing there, but that was almost a decade ago.)  There were all sorts of strange devices which I honestly could not figure out what the utility (or lack of utility, as this is a playground and the point is to have fun) was for. 
It's early enough that not all the flowers have died, so I got to enjoy some of those briefly. 
I'm sad Dan wasn't with me to enjoy this.  He's such a nature boy.  He knows a lot more about the stuff out there, of course, and I'm sure he'd be happy to improv a tour for me.  But as I was wandering about, I couldn't help but think of him, and I imagined his laugh.  He'd probably think I was being silly for thinking about him, and then laugh at me.   
I accidentally went home just as a bunch of kids were getting out of school.  They were yelling and carrying on and eating snacks and bragging to each other about their candy stashes this year.  One little girl with glasses kept staring at me. When I gave her a little smile, she walked away from me.  Oh great.  I probably scared her. 

Alone

I went out for a walk yesterday.  I took one of my more uncommon routes, and I was surprised with how the foliage had grown over on to the boardwalks.  It was actually sort of magical. 
At dinner that night, my Mom mentioned that I should take my Dad on these walks with me.  "The entire point of these walks is to be alone," I said. 
This is sort of a lie.  When I'm at home, yes, the goal of these walks is to be alone.  But when I was at school, it was more just a break from schoolwork and attempt to get fresh air.  Occasionally someone like Paul would join me on a walk, and I never minded. 
Today, I hear that everyone is out, celebrating being back together after a long summer.  (This summer appears to me to be the longest one I can remember.)  Everyone is going back to school, except for me. 
I really miss that great feeling of seeing everyone again.  I miss the hugs.  I miss flubbing through my words because I am too excited to slow down.  I miss climbing into my bed late at night, finally feeling like I'm home again.  I'm going to try not to miss taking walks just because it is a beautiful day. 

Mauled

My Dad has this thing were he likes to go and walk around the Mall.  As someone who likes walks, this appeals to me.  As someone who doesn't like shopping, it's location does not.  But I decided I needed to get out today, so I went. 
It's been a really long time since I've been to the Mall.  I've been living elsewhere and when I am around, I'm usually too busy to even think about something like this.  The place hasn't changed much, honestly, but in the bad economy, a lot of stores have closed down.  It was kind of sad.  There were whole blocks of nothing. 
While we were walking about, my Dad noticed a sign advertising new aluminum-free deodorant at the Body Shop.  I've mentioned before that I'm on the hunt for aluminum-free products, the first one being deodorant.  Jennifer already pointed me to a place that sells some, and I like it so far.  It's good to know there are other options out there.  The guy was really shocked to see me so enthusiastic about the stuff.  Once you've read the research, you will be too, trust me.
I also hit up my favorite store at the Mall: Hot Topic.
I know that a lot of people like to hate on Hot Topic.  I can understand that, on the outside, it might look like a terrible thing.  But when I was a young girl and discovering my Goth-i-ness, Hot Topic was the only store I could go to for the things that were close to what I wanted for self-expression.  When you're only going to be able to buy stuff you save your allowance for and don't have your own car, a place like Hot Topic, which is accessible and relatively cheap, is a Godsend.  And really, most of the stores in Malls across America sell the same basic looks, and they always change based on "what's in" in mainstream fashion.  If you want something different, Hot Topic is one of the few distinctly differently places. 
I also went in to check on one of my friends, who I haven't seen in four years.  He's changed so much.  He has a beard that reminds me of Daniel's.  He's still super hot.  (Why did I not date him when I had the chance?  He's clearly perfect for me.)
He was giving me the scoop on some mutual friends.  Emily graduated.  Jack is awesome and amazing, as I already knew since I saw him six weeks ago.
What surprised me was what he said about Ben and Shannon.  Ben is my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in years either.  Not because we had a fight or anything, we just grew apart, and, strangely, not even over our breakup.  (We were really good friends in the two years after the breakup.)  I knew that Ben and Shannon got married this past December. 
What I didn't know was that they had packed up and moved last week for South Carolina.  They both got teaching jobs.  Ben once told me that I would probably end of teaching at the college level and he would probably teach high school.  Now, at the very least, the last part has become completely true.  And of course, I would be happy to teach at a college, but I don't know if that's ever going to work out.  There are no guarantees in life. 
I have mixed feelings about them moving.  On one hand, I'm sad there's no chance of me running into them, since I like them so much.  On the other hand, Ben had this fatalist thing going on when I was younger about how he would never leave our hometown, and he would live here forever, just like countless generations of his family before him.  I'm glad to hear he actually got out of here, even if it's before me.

New Walking Regime

Went out for a walk.  Now that I'm back home, I have a very different walking thing going on.  At school, it's a suburban environment, so I walk on sidewalks and on relatively flat land.  Here, it's the nowhere, so I walk through woods and up and down hills.
This is probably better for me, excercise wise, just because I'm more likely to get my heart beating and to sweat a little.  I actually hate sweating, because I feel like if you run into a cute guy, it's the first thing that's going to turn him off about you.  (Though in my case, my personality would probably do that anyway.) 
I was out on a particular trail that I haven't walked since December.  Last time I was on this trail, I was with my Dad, Uncle and second cousin.  It was totally different with them. 
Also, I'm annoyed by people and their dogs.  I realize that people love their animals very much.  That doesn't make it okay to let your dog wander around without a leash.  It's hurtful to the environment, especially if it goes off the trail.  So don't do it.  Respect the woods.  Be a scout and leave it better than when you came to it. 
While out, I came up with an idea for a present for Mom.  It's something for the business she runs.  I'm going to have to come up with a clever name for it, but I think she'll like it, since she complained about not having one last year. 

Found ID

Out on another walk today, I found a girl's ID next to Adams Field.
The first thing I thought about was the time that I lost my ID as a freshman. If you've ever lost your ID, you know how miserable it is. Rachel and Josie and I tossed my room looking for it. Turns out it had somehow gotten into the laundry. Someone found it, had pity on me, and send it back to me.
I was looking at her face on the ID, and I couldn't help but feel badly for her. She had big eyes, and even more noticeably, big bags under the eyes. She looked tired. If that's what she looked like when she got the picture done before beginning at MSU, she's probably exhausted now.
I put the ID in a lost and found and emailed the girl. I hope she gets it back. This is the worst time of the year to be losing something.

Last Day of Classes or, A Muppet Version of The Divine Comedy

Zut alors. Today was my last day of classes. I was kind of wondering if something of note was going to happen, but nothing really did.

Morning meant African history, where we watched this cool movie called Poison Fire. It's about the destruction of the Niger Delta by oil companies. If you think the oil spill in the news lately was bad, you haven't seen even a millionth of it.
Lunch with friends, where mostly we talked about movies. I asked Dan about his future plans, and he told me that he was planning on being around MSU for another year.
Early Modern European history next, which was okay. I'm still on the fence about the class. The subject is mostly interesting, and most of the other students are alright, but the professor frustrates me. I'm going to really miss Kelly, who is probably my closest friend in the class. We had a great discussion today about The Divine Comedy. It's been years since I read it, and trying to have a discussion about it to a class that hadn't read it is trying. The professor made this strange comparison between Dante's masterpiece and A Christmas Carol. I joked that now I want to see a Muppet version of The Divine Comedy.
I actually think the idea has some potential. Imagine it: Kermit as Dante, Fonzie as Virgil. A bunch of the characters can play saints. If we wanted to integrate some of the Seasame Street characters, I'd say Oscar the Grouch would have to be in Hell, just 'cause he's so miserable. ("Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!") The best part of this idea: Miss Piggy as Beatrice. Lol. She's totally the opposite of Beatrice, but I feel like it would be fun.
My last class was my feminism class. I feel like I've gotten a lot out of this class. Sam and I were talking last night, and she mentioned that she totally wanted to have a "angry feminist rant day," and I totally agree with her. I need to vent some anger; I don't care how silly I sound. Mostly, we ate snacks and talked about Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.
I'm going to really miss hanging with certain people in this class, mostly Erin, Jamie, Kate and Sam. I met each of them a different year of college. Sam I met in my very first English class (so it feels appropriate we're ending in the same class.) Erin I met through Jon and Jane. Kate I met in my Greek Religion class. And Jamie I just met right before school started this term. Everywhere I go this last week or so, I find myself looking back to whoever I run into and think "Oh my gosh! We've known each other for x amount of years, but it seemed like I met you a month ago." Things really do fly by.
My big plans this evening were a walk and a nap. I ran into Mark and got sidetracked. Mark is really awesome. He's one of those people who you connect to on such a deep level. I feel like we are on the same wavelength. Quite possibly we could talk forever and never say everything. I have a couple of other friends like that (Josie, Colin, and Ashley all come to mind), and I love finding a new one. It's good to know somewhere someone gets you.
So no walk today, shockingly. Just a nap.

Basically, nothing interesting happened today (as a certain British king infamously wrote...), but I always end up missing the little and strange things about my past. When I think on my past, I always miss the people in it, especially the ones I don't see often anymore. I miss those great conversations, and the regular meet-ups (hallways, cafeterias, classrooms, church, basements, the woods, the Forum) and the jokes. And that's probably what I'll miss most about here: wandering into my friend's rooms at all hours of the day and night to talk or watch Jeopardy or House or Chuck, sitting around in the hallways having hours-long conversations and then getting yelled at by the mentors, having "homework parties" in rooms or lobbies, running into each other in unexpected places, taking classes together, making bad horror films late at night in the basement like the one above, caf sitting, office hours, working, and generally being a family.
It's going to take a while for me to move on. I don't even have the time right now to compress and get all my feelings out. By this time next week, I hope to begin the process.

Golf Carting

I was on one of my infamous walks this afternoon, and while in between the Union and West Circle, Dragonfly came up behind me in a golf cart. She allowed me to sit in the passenger seat, and we drove all the way to her work headquarters. It was a lovely day, though a bit windy, and Dragonfly looked cute in her hat and pink tee, like a real gardener. We giggled and carried on a bit.
I'm terribly jealous of her new job working the north grounds of campus. I always enjoy manual labor of certain kinds, which is strange because I'm also bookish. Perhaps if I am unable to find a job at home I'll consider coming back here to look. I wouldn't mind doing her job or working maintenance in one of the dorms.

T-bags

While out on one of my walks, I saw a young man in skin-tight jeans that were hanging way down his hips. Suffice to say, I was pretty surprised to see something like this. He was combining two dumb things that people thing are cool: tight pants and baggy jeans.
I don't want to be a traitor to my generation or anything, but I don't get how guys these days dress. I mean, come on. It just looks like they fell out of bed, changed into tight jeans, but didn't bother with their shirt, then put on some large glasses and then took their greasy hair and covered it up with a backwards cap. And we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.
What should we name this new abomination? T-bags? (Tight+baggy=?) If we chose this, of course, then we could call them T-baggers, which might easily be confused with tea baggers of a more political quality. But I think it's clear the same amount of doucheness is part of both groups, who think they know what's best for people.

*I'd just like to say that I'm writing this in jest. I don't usually mind hipsters; I just find them funny, and sometimes, adorable. (Depending on who they are, of course. If you're a douche, it doesn't matter what you wear; you're still damned to irritate everyone.) And yeah, I was totally inspired. Amy Heckling, make a movie about now.

Perspective

Since the weather got better a few weeks back, I've been going out for regular walks. Today was not quite as nice as two weeks ago, but that's not why I'm writing.
I'm writing because going out on walks, what is usually a solitary event for me, has gotten rather social.
Saturday I went for a walk with my friend Matt. I ran into Matt the previous Thursday, again, while walking. Both times we had nice, long conversations, mostly about nothing of consequence. We talked about things like Doctor Who, mutual friends, pennies, the future and cigarettes. We also talked a little about Matt's ex-girlfriend, Virgina. They had been dating for a long time and only broke up last week. I hadn't seen her, but I offered to be a sounding board for Matt, who I would imagine would take it harder than her. Matt actually is handling it better than I expected. He's obviously unhappy, but dealing with it surprisingly well. He mostly didn't want to talk about it with me, and that's fine, as I realize most guys aren't verbose on anything involving emotions, so I've let it go. If Matt wants to say more to me, I trust he will.
Today, I first ran into Mike. We met in a poetry class last year, and we've both recently been selected to read at a program for the English department. I'm very nervous about it, though I know I'm being a bit silly. It'll probably be fine. Mike talked to me about poetry. He said he had one of the professors for a creative writing class, and we had a short discussion about erasures.
Less than five minutes after parting ways I run into Mitch, coming back from West Circle. I really like Mitch a lot. Mostly I like how we always manage to have a laugh about something. Today, it was certain characters that we think are ridiculous and worth our quiet scorn. I have to say, sometimes he surprises me, since I didn't realize how much he disliked a certain someone.
This time, I think I managed seven minutes before I saw Virginia, coming to me on her bike. She was super excited because she got a job for the summer, at a nearby nature reserve. I think that's excellent, as that means it'll be another great thing for her resume. I don't know if she knew I was hanging out with her ex recently.
But really, that walk took me an extra twenty minutes to complete.
Matt once told me that I would have to choose amongst my friends, because I have too many of them. I disagree. I think life manages to choose for me. Geography, bad behavior, incompatibility all seem to have done a marvelous job of cleaning out my friends every six months to two years. I guess it would be easy to get sad about those moments where I realize I can't be close to someone anymore (or, sometimes even more disappointing, won't ever be close to someone), but I think this makes me just treasure the friends I've had for so long all the more dear to me. Plus, even if I only hang around someone for a little while, it's still a great opportunity to learn new things and see the world from another perspective.