That morning I had sat at the table eating cereal while my parents fought. Someone stole some stuff from us way back in November, and we were still getting stuff squared away with insurance. (Insurance did not pay us out as much money as we believed they would.) My Mother was trying to get some photos and scans of the new things so that we could have them on record. The scanner was in the other room. She turned it on and then tried to work on the next picture with her camera while the thing was scanning. My Father came in and turned it off and it angered her he couldn't ask.
"I want you to leave," she yelled at him. And he did.
I do what every body does when someone is having a fight in front of you: make yourself invisible. I hurriedly tried to finish my cereal and then put stuff away, but I got a front row seat anyway.
I've been thinking a lot about this fight, not because it's rare (it's rather typical) but because a few of my friends have been discussing their own families fighting with me this week. Everyone mentions the frustration and stress of it, and Jennifer particularly addressed how she felt like she had never seen a relationship up close that worked.
I am now of the impression that no one knows how to make a relationship work, that humans understand virtually everything better than relationships.
And people wonder why I'm so cynical about these matters.
Eliza, I've just got back from a trip to Tenby where my wife comes from.
ReplyDeleteLook, ( that's always a good starting word when you THINK you are going to say something profound or maybe just mere CRAP)your mum and dad don't mean to hurt each other. It's because they are close, love each other, etc that they feel they can rip each other apart.
I know!!!!
They are under stress. That is a terrible thing to happen to your family. They are trying to cope with their emotions. We are all individuals with our own personalities and sense of ourselves and we DO clash because we are all different and see things from differing points of view. Your mum and dad love each other just as much as they always have done.