Language Problems

My roommate, Nina, sometimes asks me for help with her English.  She was texting today, and she asked me if she could say "If you need any help, don't bother asking me."  I explained that she probably should say "If you need any help, just ask."  She does this frequently: say the opposite of what she means, which sometimes makes determining her actual meaning hard. 
I kind of wonder how she functions as her job.  She works at an English newspaper, so how does she get on?  I would be impossibly in trouble if I worked at a non-English newspaper. 
She told me last night she wanted to learn Chinese, which is admirable, but since she's here, I personally think an English class might be a good idea.  It's clear she has the vocab, but she needs to practice speaking, and well, there are classes (or coffee table nights) that cater exactly to that. 

Last Night and This Morning

Right before going to bed last night, Nina asked me to help her with her English.  "Just correct me, okay?" she said.  I couldn't see her in the dark, but surely she could see me, with the light on.  She sounded a little sad.  I felt sorry for being impatient with her.  "Sure," I said.  I turned the light off. 
I am still having trouble sleeping, though last night it was mostly everything else.  I am very sensitive to noise, and last night there was so much noise it took me a long time (hours) to finally nod off. 
And then I was up early because Nina was up early, getting ready for work. 
I tried to lay down again after having breakfast with Ruth, Rachel and Jenny, but then Ruth texted me.  She wanted to go see a movie; did I want to come?  I asked her where it was and it was far off, but I said I'd think about it. 
I really shouldn't go, because really, I have essays that need editing and phone calls to make and more writing to do and I suspect there's some reading, but...I do want to go.  Spending time with Ruth and all.
I just feel sort of terrible right now.  I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or if I'm hungry.   

Out and About

Lisa was backing her car up. 
"There's a cop there," I noted, watching him walk past and then in back of the car.  We hadn't even gotten in the door yet, and there were police officers.  Was this foreshadowing? 
Once we got in, it definitely felt like we were early.  There was a ton of noise from the music, but almost no one around.  Two people came out and yelled at us, clearly both having a good time. 
I got a Long Island, because I have decided they are how I am going to judge a place.  Madison and Lisa both got the same thing, something fruity.  (I do not like coconut, which is why I do not drink things with coconut flavored rum.)  Madison said she wanted something that would get her really drunk, which is why a Long Island was really a good choice, but Madison likes fruit drinks. 
We found a place to sit near a billiard table.  It was this tiny little table, but the three of us squeezed in.  Madison had wanted to come here, but Dan had also suggested this place.  It was actually hard to imagine Dan hanging out here, but only because he likes to drink in the privacy of his own home. 
We caught up with each other.  I had already talked about what was up with me in the car, so there wasn't much for my to say.  Lisa talked about how her and Michael have started looking at engagement rings.  Even though Michael hasn't proposed yet, they've looked at rings, which really surprised me.  They've been together for years, and I figured they had thought about it, but I feel like you've kind of ruined the surprise of getting married if your partner knows you've been looking at rings. 
Madison talked about her crappy week at work.  She's been really stressed out.  She got reprimanded for a mistake.  Poor thing. 
As I was drinking the Long Island, I was struck by how hard it was hitting me.  I should have had something better to eat before we went out.  Like a hamburger. 
Tori joined us after about forty minutes.  She had a family dinner so she couldn't come earlier.  She got her hair cut, and it's one of those super adult short cuts that makes her look very momish. 
Tori complained about how her aunt harassed her at this family reunion over her hair.  And then she talked about her cousin, who doesn't speak any English. 
We were sitting near a window, so we enjoyed watching various people on the street.  There were a lot of bachelor and bachelorette parties wandering by and in and out of the bar.  One young woman was carrying a huge blow up penis.  She put it up against the window near where Lisa was sitting. 
In the meantime, I got a shot of whiskey and a Fuzzy Navel.  As I did the shot of whiskey, the man standing next to me at the bar was really impressed.  When I do whiskey, girls are totally ambivalent, but guys are always both scared and impressed.  
Madison wanted to check out the club next door, so we wandered over.  I decided not to order a drink right away, and I was really glad I didn't, because they were ten dollars.  (Who has that kind of money?)  All three of them got martinis of various kinds.  Tori's was bright neon blue and Madison's tasted like a thin mint liquidized. 
The only good thing about this club was that they played Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." 

Spending the Day Doing What I Didn't

Erin, Nori and I were outside, dancing and fooling around.  Erin and Nori were taking pictures of the night.  I had my camera with me, but I didn't feel like getting it out. 
I was too busy dancing.  I dropped my shoulders low, looking down at the ground.  I put my arms out, slightly above my head, making it look like I was pushing walls away that were closing in on me.  Then I moved my legs so that one foot was in front of the other.  When one leg would move, I'd wobble just a little bit.  I did this for a while. 
I turned around.  Both Nori and Erin were staring at me.  "What was that?" Nori asked. 
I really couldn't tell her. 
They both kept taking pictures, including some of me.  "You always make your pictures look nice," Erin scoffed.  So sue me. 

"Post them immediately!" Erin commanded.  Nori told her that she had to go down to Ann Arbor the next day to see Frontier Ruckus, this band I saw a few years back.  I would like to go myself, but more because I took a class with their drummer and admired how smart he was.  Mark later tipped me off that he was in the same band I had liked.  I suspect Ryan, the drummer, wouldn't even remember me, because why would you remember some girl from a class a year ago, even if she was one of the smartest and talkative kids in the class?
While we were dancing and taking pictures, a janitor came out and looked at us weirdly.
"We're not doing anything wrong," Erin said to her as way of explanation.  And we weren't, though she skittered around us oddly. 
"You would think she was used to drunks," I mentioned to Nori, even though we weren't.  Usually when I've had a lot I feel like I'm swimming, but here I just felt like I did when I wake up from an unrestful sleep: tired and wishing for something better. 
"We should try to break into Morrill Hall!" Erin exclaimed.

There's a long story here.  Morrill is where the English department is located, and it has become a tradition for English students to "break in."  By break in, I mean go through the often-unlocked front door or climb up the fire ladder.  Almost ever creative writing kid I know has written a creative nonfiction piece about it.
I always had this weird fantasy of camping out in an office I had the key into.  In this fantasy, there was a particular young man with me.  We'd share a sleeping bag, and get up right before the sun, and watch it rise from the roof, admiring campus at dawn.  This never happened, for a wide variety of reasons. 
In the meantime, I had spent the day doing what I didn't get done when I was actually in school.  I went for a swim with friends.  I went to a co-op party.  I have a long lunch without regarding the time.  I had an evening of being silly with friends, regardless of the rules or time.  Breaking into Morrill Hall, another thing I never got around to doing, seemed right somehow. 
We drove over there, we parked in the nearby ramp.  Several cars passed us.  We stood outside the front door.  A cop car drove by.  Something about it dampened by mood. 
Erin couldn't get the door open. 
"If that door's not open, the rest of them aren't either," she said.  "Let's go home." 

The Date We Never Had

I went over to Micheal's house.  He was packing some stuff to go back to MSU, so I was helping him.  As he was looking for something, I happened to notice a Ponyo toy sitting out on a piano.  Last week, Michael had mentioned that he had an extra one and that I could have it.  I've actually never seen Ponyo, though I want to, since I'm a big fan of The Little Mermaid and Hayao Miuzaki.  I went over and squeezed its stuffed tummy.
And then I saw a bunch of framed pictures laying on the piano next to it.  I picked up the top one.  I was Michael's Dad, which slightly less crazy hair, and Michael's Mom, who I've never met.  She had crazy wild hair too, which made me wonder how Michael could be born with completely straight hair.  They were both smiling with a baby sitting in between them, Michael, I assumed.
The picture after that was similar, but instead of one baby in between, there were two.  Michael never mentioned siblings.  Had I just somehow missed that detail about him?  Maybe something had happened to the other sibling and Michael didn't like talking about it?  Maybe it was from a previous marriage, of, based on what the baby looked like, probably his mother?  I wanted to ask but I don't think there's any good way of beginning this topic.
I noticed then that there were no pictures on the actual wall of his house, anywhere.  It looked like a tornado had sweep through, which had distracted me to the lack of actual pictures on the wall.  I wondered if someone had tried to paint the walls recently or if they had moved.  It didn't make a lot of sense.
After that, we got into Micheal's car and headed over to a friend's graduation party.  The guy had just graduated from engineering at MSU and had found a job in Grand Rapids.  Kid was set for life.  Would probably be making five figures right out of college.  (What was I thinking pursuing English as a degree?)  I just graduated myself, but I figured no one actually had graduation parties to celebrate graduating from college.  With my Grandma being all sick lately and me not having anything exciting to say about where I was going, it's probably just as well, but now I have missed the opportunity to have one of these parties twice. 
I was a little nervous to go there, just because people would see me and be like, "Oh, you must be Micheal's girlfriend," when the truth was I was friends with his girlfriend Lisa.  But I didn't feel like it was my place to be picky. 
And, indeed, I totally called it, because everyone shook my hand and treated me as Micheal's girlfriend.  They asked where we had met.  Michael said through Lisa, and that got a few eyebrows.
It's actually a lie, the meeting through Lisa thing.  We met about six months before Michael and Lisa met.  I was sitting on a park bench reading Phillipa Gregory's The Constant Princess and Michael walked by, saw me, sat down, and then tried to pick me up.  No kidding.  We obviously did not end up dating, but it occurred to me then that if we had, this is probably what it would be like.  Again, I was wondering if I was going to regret this hanging out with Michael thing.
It was a normal, though sparely attended, graduation party.  The host's mother was very gracious to us (she knew Michael) and I helped myself to a Root Beer and chips and some Chinese noodles.  They had this interesting wooden servers that were like huge fork ends.  I joked that they were Wolverine servers.  A woman standing there asked what I was talking about, and I explained that they looked like the claws of Wolverine the X-Man.   

Out with Friends, pt. 2

One of the other things about being out with friends was that it allowed me to get some updates on people. 
Ashley, for example, is looking for a job.  One of the old boarding schools she used to work with is looking to hire people in an mentor like capacity.  I'm not going to lie, I'd really like to get a job like that.  I've always wanted to go to a boarding school (which probably fed into my love of living at school), but working at one is the next best thing.  There's no way I qualify for this job, or at least not the way Ashley does.  Ashley spent time as a mentor at her university, and I decided not to do that.  So, to prevent myself from being jealous, I'm remembering all the stupid stuff mentors had to do and all the crappy mentors we had. 
Tori is taking summer classes.  She's thinking of getting a master's in history, working at a community college, and then using that money to put herself through a Ph.D.  I didn't mention that really, you shouldn't have to pay for a master's or a Ph.D, but then I remembered how I really don't know anything. 
Tori also changed her major from biology to history.  I know that she'll be amazing in history, but I realized last night that almost all of my friends have changed their major at one point or another.  Was this something I was suppose to do too?  I guess not, since the idea of giving up English breaks my heart. 
We also chatted about the World Cup and about the recent debacle over the baseball commissioner not calling the perfect game for the Tigers.  I actually held my own on a sports conversation!  I guess hanging out all the time with Danny and Paul really made a difference.  I actually know what I'm talking about now.  I'm really proud of myself.  I've grown. 
At the end of the night, we went driving through town.  It was so dark, and as we drove past fields and through the woods, it was so quiet and beautiful looking.  I love night.  Everything felt blissful and calm and safe last night.
When I got home, I showered and then realized that I was actually tired.  I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately, so being tired before one in the morning made me think that maybe I could just sleep normally.  And I did.
Last night was one of our best nights out, strangely enough.  Over the years, we've had some disagreements and other things, but we didn't fight or anything.  Maybe we've changed since high school, but maybe we're changing back towards each other, not away from each other they way I thought we were.  I heard someone say a few days ago that friends recklessly hurt each other and then awkwardly forgive each other.  Maybe we're getting better at that last part. 

Feminism Paper

Have been working on a paper for my English class. I'm still a little under the required page number, but at least I have something, and even having that is a big relief.
I'm writing about two works on Toni Morrison and the gaze. I'm really interested in the later. When I learned about it in a class last year, it captured my thoughts. It's one of the things I'm interested in in literary theory.
There are a couple of pop songs that I think deal implicitly with the gaze, which I'd like to write a short piece about. You know, when I get the time.