Helping

So when Ashley told me she wanted to see The Help, I groaned. (I can't remember if it was inward or not.) Like, honestly, I would rather not see another movie about benevolent white people who have no sense of larger structural oppression. I don't need to see a movie about that; I'm around white people who already think that and I see it on tv when I am trying to avoid blatant misogyny.
So I was reading this article which is written for young clergywomen about the same book, and I am so glad someone finally laid a particular set of thoughts out for me that I think I've been circling for awhile but have struggled to articulate. The author writes that "the challenge of living amidst privilege can be that Jesus' teachings are incredibly indicting to our own lives, which is part of what makes stories focused on morals so much more inviting, and so much more tempting, than stories focused on ethics." Although I had never thought about it in terms of this book, I have always found all the prattle of most of my fellow Christians to be disappointingly about living to some vague moral stance more based on things like not having sex before marriage or abortions. I can't even think of a fellow Christian peer who has ever once mentioned structural problems or Jesus's work on said subject. (I had a priest who would give sermons on religious tolerance and women's unpaid and unacknowledged labor, and seriously, that guy was mostly awesome. On the other side of the religious spectrum, I can think of a few atheists who had it together when it came to these kinds of problems.)
I've been meditating frequently on how disappointed I am with other Christians, because I suspect the why is important, and I think this might be a very big answer on the why. Because, ultimately, if we aren't against the forces that cause things like poverty and discrimination, that, honestly, what are we in this religion for? Are we here on earth as Christians because we want to improve our communities or because we need something to make us feel superior? If we focus on ending injustices, we are here for the community. If we focus on morals not only are we going to fall short on what God calls us to do, but we're going to end up tending to our egos and not the flock.
As some other notes, I really like the rest of this article for pointing out some of the difficulties with race. I loved this quote that the author brings up "For the dishonesty upon which a society is founded makes every emotion suspect, makes it impossible to know whether what flowed between two people was honest feeling or pity or pragmatism." In this instance, it is used in the context of race, but could easily be applied to other power structures.

The Ongoing Saga of it Being Too Cold

At work today, there was more drama over how cold it's been.  I have been shivering for at least a month.  And apparently I'm not the only one.  At one point, one of the girls across the hall got so mad about how cold it was she just decided to leave and go sit somewhere else. I don't blame her, but I work on a desktop at work so I don't have the luxury of just getting up and leaving whenever.
Then I was talking with someone via email, and there was the implication of needing to do more research. Doing the whole taking the initiative thing, I started working on that.
As I was doing that, there was another conversation (involving the same girl) about how it was warmer but that it should get fixed. And the girl said she was going to call.
I was also thinking about my Mom and how she is clearly suffering from burnout when it comes to taking care of my Grandma. I wish she would ask her brother to take care of my Grandma. It would be difficult, but shipping my Grandma down south might be a good thing for us, especially for my Mom. My Mom has been taking care of my Grandma for over ten years, and, sadly, it could easily be another ten. It isn't fair to my Mom, and quite frankly, I don't think it's okay for her emotional and mental health. I suspect my Uncle wouldn't want to take Grandma, but I have half the mind to write him a letter, emphasizing how much he apparently loves his sister and what a Christian man he considers himself. I actually very much doubt his love for his sister and for Jesus, but there's a part of me that wants to try on my Mom's behalf. My Mom deserves a break, a big one, and she deserves better than such a terrible family (her awful mother, her awful brother, her awful sister-in-law. This whole family is rotten to the core. Everyone talks a big game about responsibility but it's nowhere to be found. I'm disgusted at being related to these people.)
I just realized today as I was sitting here how feminine Mark's voice is. I don't know how I could have missed it. This isn't a criticism, just a weird thing I noticed.
I accidentally got an update on the Mark-the-Landlord drama. Today he was on the phone with someone talking about replacing a stairs and a deck.
I even heard Mark give a giant sigh today. Oh, I understand, I wanted to say. I really have been dragging today. I think I need a nap, though I honestly do not have time for one.
So, basically, out of everyone, I spend the most time with Mark. I'm not complaining, but I guess this wasn't what I expected to end up thinking about all the time.
Then, in the ongoing saga of "It's too cold in this building" today some people came into the office and opened up the ceiling tiles and were inspecting. One of them was saying a bunch of stuff wasn't working. They were right around my cubicle, making me terribly nervous. (Would I have to leave? I was really tired today and was praying that yes, they would let me go home. I needed a nap and had things to do.) They started taking bits of the ceiling near my head out, looking inside and conferring with each other. Then they went into Bella's cubicle and did the same thing. (I don't know where Bella is today, but clearly not here.) "It's definitely zeroed out," Tommy (as he was called) said to his friend.
Just as things were getting really interesting there, Mark came in with a task. It was either an accounting task or a proofreading task. Basically, I needed to make sure that two lists of books sales were together and that their weren't any mistakes. The way he laughed about the construction fun was exactly how Daniel laughs. Exactly. Terrifyingly so. They're so different in age and potentially political beliefs. (I say potentially because I know exactly what Mark thinks about politics, Daniel will be cold in the grave before he expresses his thoughts on this and a wide variety of other subjects.) And yet their mannerisms are so similar, and I find myself being struck by them all the time.
Work went by really fast actually, for all my complaining. I kept doing that thing were I would look up and discover that about another hour had passed.