Went out with Jack for a drink. I think maybe we were just nostalgic, because we talked about some of old friends and the memories we had.
Jack is one of those people who views high school as an okay experience. Since Jack and I went to high school together, this is a view that kind of boggles my brain. He was such a nice guy, but occasionally people were awful to him, and he witnessed the same injustices and problems that I did. I guess I am less easily impressed.
As much as like Jack, sometimes he does this thing which indicates he's either not listening or he doesn't want to listen. He always does this when I state how happy I am, which these days is anywhere from moderate to almost perfect. I'm not sure what this is about, exactly. Maybe he thinks I am lying about my happiness?
...I have to admit that I haven't been as happy recently as I once was, but happiness is a lot about attitude and not necessarily what you do or do not have. If you make it a point to try to be happy, it makes a big difference to how you address the unhappy circumstances in your life.
And this attitude is a change for me, at least in comparison with my high school self.
This is the one thing that I think is preventing me from being closer to Jack. I want to get closer to him, but I suspect he doubts my honesty. It hurts a little, to recognize that. And it hurts to realize that he's probably keeping me at arm's length.
Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Dean's Mom's Younger Self
At work today I was reading when I had an idea for a poem, and then off I was, writing one instead of working on what I was meant to be doing. This is becoming rather typical of me.
It was mostly a work of nostalgia. During the Superbowl a few days ago, I was thinking about when Dean and I went to a party together for it (this was back before I was a regular attendee at things at Casa Paul). We had to walk on this giant sheet of ice to get there. I remember slipping and sliding. "Here Dear," Dean said, and he let me take his arm. Dean says dear to me a lot, and it's one of those little things I like about him. We had only recently become friends, but it was one of those friendships that immediately took off and it was like we knew each other.
As we walked, I realized how much he sounded like another old friend, and it was strange, realizing that I was gravitating to the same types of people over and over again.
And then I thought about when we were sitting in the cafeteria, talking about Doctor Who, when Dean turned suddenly and said "You look exactly like my Mom did when you were her age." We were sitting with a bunch of other friends then, and Matt was all "Way to be creepy." We decided as a group that Dean's current Mom had gone back in time to get her younger self, bring her younger self back to the present to watch Dean. And, obviously, I was Dean's Mom's Younger Self.
And then I thought about a dance I went to with that group of friends, and how much great music they played, especially techno.
So, basically, I was working off of nostalgia. And not doing my real work.
It was mostly a work of nostalgia. During the Superbowl a few days ago, I was thinking about when Dean and I went to a party together for it (this was back before I was a regular attendee at things at Casa Paul). We had to walk on this giant sheet of ice to get there. I remember slipping and sliding. "Here Dear," Dean said, and he let me take his arm. Dean says dear to me a lot, and it's one of those little things I like about him. We had only recently become friends, but it was one of those friendships that immediately took off and it was like we knew each other.
As we walked, I realized how much he sounded like another old friend, and it was strange, realizing that I was gravitating to the same types of people over and over again.
And then I thought about when we were sitting in the cafeteria, talking about Doctor Who, when Dean turned suddenly and said "You look exactly like my Mom did when you were her age." We were sitting with a bunch of other friends then, and Matt was all "Way to be creepy." We decided as a group that Dean's current Mom had gone back in time to get her younger self, bring her younger self back to the present to watch Dean. And, obviously, I was Dean's Mom's Younger Self.
And then I thought about a dance I went to with that group of friends, and how much great music they played, especially techno.
So, basically, I was working off of nostalgia. And not doing my real work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)