Training

Alexander was training me with some new computer stuff.  Mostly, it went well.  I weirdly enjoy myself.  It makes me feel peaceful. 
Maybe a little too peaceful, since I screwed up and erased some data Alexander had taken care of.  And then, to make it worse, I couldn't figure out how to fix it (that's what this training is for.)  The good news is that it took me a while, but I figured it out.  I kept thinking he was going to show up and ask me what was taking so long.  I did eventually figure it out, and rushed over to make sure he knew I was done. 
He didn't say anything.  Hopefully he didn't notice?

Rapid Change of Times

I went to Alexander to ask if I could be trained in a particular program.
"Not today. I have an art class."
My sense is that Alexander doesn't need an art class, but okay. We tried to schedule for Tuesday.
"12 o'clock," he said.
"Okay."
Then he paused. "Well, actually, I have something to do. 1:00."
"Okay."
Another pause. "1:30."
I snorted at him. "Well, I'm just trying to be realistic.
Oh, he thought I was annoyed. No, I just though his rapid change of times was funny. "It's fine, really." (What am I going to do about it anyway? Demand?)

Possible Sour Grapes

Alexander brought me grapes today.  It made me smile. 
I really hope he doesn't think that I am starving myself, since he sometimes asked if I ate lunch.  So, right after I was happy about the grapes, I realize maybe it wasn't necessarily a good things. 

I Hate Editing My Own Work

Alexander came back to me some edits on something I wrote last week. I suspect he wants very much to treat me with kid gloves because he sees me as delicate (something that is partially my own fault, as I have endeavored to cover up my more bombastic characteristics). Part of me was all "he better make me feel bad" because that's the only way I'm going to learn. Then he did make me feel bad, and then I felt even worse for feeling bad in the first place. (I'm a mess, obviously.)
Like most writers, my problem is attachment. I get so attached to my work that I can't see it clearly. I'm like a someone in love: all I see is the piece, the good things, without any sense of reality.
Alexander beat me up somewhat badly (though this is nothing in comparison with some teachers, who actually want to make me cry. In public, is possible.)

Write Psyche

Alexander had me working on some writing.  I got started, and I was chugging along.  Then he sent me this email with some guidelines ("Guidelines!?!!?," I thought.  "Why couldn't he say something about these before hand?") and they psyched me out.  When I can just write, I usually am fine, but when I have a word count, I really struggle.  I either write way too much or way too little, because the word count is itching at the back of my mind. 
I got it done, and Alexander actually would rather that I write more than less.  And I did.  And it'll probably be fine. 
I wish Alexander would give me some feedback.  Everyone around there treats me like I'm fragile, but honestly, I've had teachers try to make me cry when it comes to my writing; sending me an email with some miscellaneous thoughts wouldn't be a big deal.