Work yesterday was fine. (Yes, I managed to remember my makeup this time.) I had the worst craving for chips. I've been a very good girl about eating healthy as of the past few months, at least in terms of what I eat. I only have desert at dinner, and that's usually a cake or pie, though sometimes if I am lucky a lemon tart. But I've also been eating a lot, just because it seems like I get large helpings at the caf. So I was so disappointed in myself for wanting chips because I've haven't eaten that kind of crap for weeks. Ugh.
Around ten days ago I had to send something to a prisoner in the mail. Which was fine, but I was warned by the boss not to include staples or paper clips in the package because then they would reject the package. So I got the package back today with a note saying it didn't like that I had put a sticker on it. It was one of those stickers that contain our address, so someone can send it back. When I showed it to the boss, she said that prisons will do anything to send mail back. No kidding, I thought. So when I go into work next week, that's the first thing that's going to be on my list of things to do. I can hand write an address, I just wish someone would have said something to me first.
The rest of the day was spent doing some research. I consider myself pretty good at research, but the person I was trying to find information on seems to be as close to a nonentity as one can be these days. One of the other employees mentioned she's been in the news a lot lately, but if Google News hasn't been able to find her, I don't think that it's true.
The problem I have when I'm doing research is that I tend to get sidetracked by interesting information that isn't pertinent to what I'm doing. I ended up reading this philosophical discussion of a moral dilemma. I don't really know much about philosophy; it's one of those areas I'd like to read up on or take a class on, though I never have. Anyway, the author basically said that there are three options to a moral dilemma: do something bad but effective to achieving your goal, do something bad and ineffective or walk away. I recently had a moral dilemma and took the second option, then after that didn't work, picked the third. But according to this author, the best move was the third, at least in the context they were speaking about.
Walking away is such a hard thing for me. So hard. I always want to fight for whatever. And maybe this author was wrong about the moral dilemma thing, but the idea of always choosing to walk away (and then, assumably, taking a deep breath and getting over it), seems so unsatisfying. And I suspect that approach will drive me half-crazy because then I'll always wonder "what if" about those circumstances.
See what I mean about getting completely sidetracked at work? I do it all the time.
I got sidetracked in other ways yesterday. I came up with an idea for a memoir a few days back, and I found myself considering titles and structure for this yet-unstarted project.
And then I found myself contemplating why serial killers exist and why are they always white and almost always male. I have a theory involving a lot of complicated globalization and dominance and the word hegemony, but I wasn't meant to be thinking about serial killers at all.
And then later I was thinking about the novel Desert Blood, which I read a few years ago. The book is about the Mexican/U.S. border and a series of murders taking place there. Apparently there was a real case of a U.S. Border Agent who raped women when he caught these women crossing the border, and because they were illegal it took ages before one of them called him on it. I was wondering if certain details of the novel were based on those horrific incidents. (Certain things in the book are based on a series of real crimes that are related, though not quite the same.)
I then came across a reference to how people get notices to stick to brick buildings: something called wheat paste. I'm assuming it's some kind of paste involving wheat as a major ingredient but I found myself thinking how I had never considered how people did that or that it was something relatively simple and easy. So, if nothing else, all this research seems to be good for me in terms of learning trivia.
I even wrote a poem at work a few days ago. I know, I know: I'm not supposed to do that. But I've got one of those fickle Muses that comes and goes without a lot of warning. And if I don't write an idea down right as I'm having it, I always kick myself later when it doesn't work as well.
I've actually been looking at that poem today, and I think it needs work, but I feel better about it than I was expecting to. I have been writing longer poetry as of late, and this one is rather short.
Sadly, sometimes I think I get more done than they expect me to. Which makes me wonder what in God's name everyone else is doing. I dawdle enough as it is; how to people dawdle anymore than I do? I get my work done out of sheer boredom since there's nothing else to do.
There's also been an ongoing drama over a crashed hard drive. Not, thankfully, with anyone I work with, but across the hallway I can hear a fair amount of yelling and whatnot over it. Mostly I've ignored it, but sometimes it's hard to. The woman at the center of this ongoing saga is very loud and, I suspect, the head of that group of workers. She has ordered various people around about it. And she has complained loudly on the phone. And then went into a rant about how computer people are stupid and lazy. Maybe I've just had better interactions or maybe she has a particularly useless IT person, but I've always had good to great interactions with computer people. They've always solved my problems and even have been good at calming me down. (Computer problems stress me out disproportionately.) Jimmy, Dean, even Daniel are all computer people and I know if I went to them with a problem, they would never dare tell me they wouldn't help me or give me a hard time. They all love me, they would all do their best to save me from my own mistakes. Especially Dean. Dean has been particularly good to me about these kinds of issues.
Not that I would want to inflict that women on those three. All three are relatively calm people, and out of the three of them, only Dean would complain about her. (Though only in private.)
Also, I don't know if something happened while I wasn't here or maybe in another part of the office, but I noticed sexual harassment posters suddenly went up all over the office. Was there an incident? I'm really curious, even though I know it's not really my business. Part of me wants to know so that I can avoid the harasser like the plague.
I did a little report writing and sent it to the boss before the end of my shift.
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