Out with Jack

Went out with Jack for a drink.  I think maybe we were just nostalgic, because we talked about some of old friends and the memories we had. 
Jack is one of those people who views high school as an okay experience.  Since Jack and I went to high school together, this is a view that kind of boggles my brain.  He was such a nice guy, but occasionally people were awful to him, and he witnessed the same injustices and problems that I did.  I guess I am less easily impressed. 
As much as like Jack, sometimes he does this thing which indicates he's either not listening or he doesn't want to listen.  He always does this when I state how happy I am, which these days is anywhere from moderate to almost perfect.  I'm not sure what this is about, exactly.  Maybe he thinks I am lying about my happiness?
...I have to admit that I haven't been as happy recently as I once was, but happiness is a lot about attitude and not necessarily what you do or do not have.  If you make it a point to try to be happy, it makes a big difference to how you address the unhappy circumstances in your life. 
And this attitude is a change for me, at least in comparison with my high school self.
This is the one thing that I think is preventing me from being closer to Jack.  I want to get closer to him, but I suspect he doubts my honesty.  It hurts a little, to recognize that.  And it hurts to realize that he's probably keeping me at arm's length. 

The Cat Whisperer

Tori and I went to visit Jack.  We were there so that their two kittens could meet.  Tori needs someone to watch her cat now, and we were all hoping that Mocha and Feets would get along.
On the drive over, Tori told me that they have now secured all of her father's guns.  He had fifteen rifles and five handguns, which is a small arsenal.  Apparently it's normal for hunters to have about ten rifles.  I was just worried something walked off, which would be scary.   
We tried a lot of things to get the cats to like each other.  At one point, we just opened the carrier Mocha was in, and Feets tried several times to wander up to it.  And Mocha would hiss at him.  Jack tried to pet Mocha, and Mocha started hissing at him.  And then me after that, even though there was no way I was covered in cat fur.

Meanwhile, one of Jack's roommates, David, stopped by.  He was just dropping some stuff off before heading out.  He has a degree in music and women's studies, and I thought that sounded suitably hot.  And then I met him and he was sort of adorable and nice.  He plays music at a church, and was planning on doing stuff from the most recent movie version of Pride and Prejudice.  I was definitely going to swoon, but Jack told me after he left that David was gay.  Of course he was, I thought.  This happens to me all the time. 
"We should have some music," Jack said.  Jack started showing us the stuff on his I-pod, and I picked out the Beatles.  That was something everyone could agree too. 
Then Tori held Mocha and Jack held Feets facing each other.  And they both freaked out, but at separate times.  Mocha would hiss, and then Feets would get all riled up and start clawing the air.  And then Mocha would start hissing again.
Jack was cool enough to make us some food.  As we waited in the living room, I began looking at Jack's books.  He had a lot of stuff I was interested in reading.  Lots of Ronald Dahl and other classics of young adult lit.  And books on Wicca.  I was thinking the day before of getting back into Wicca, but this would take a lot of work and time, and I really don't have much of that right now.  I sang along to Yellow Submarine.  I used to love that song and album as a kid. 

It occurred to me as we were waiting that the reason Tori asked me to come was because Tori didn't really know Jack all that well anymore.  Out of this particular group of friends, Jack is actually the one I stayed best in touch with.  And since I was the matchmaker on this one, maybe it was best I come along. 
Jack, like Jimmy, is a great cook.  (Are all of my friends amazing cooks?  When did this happen and why have I remained mostly ignorant of it?)  Jack made us pork chops, beans and rice.
Some of you will recall I don't eat pork.  This is still true, but I ate Jack's pork because it was good.  Seriously, I usually despise pork, but this was excellent.  He told Tori and I that he had added some cinnamon to it, which was surprising.
We waited for the two cats to sort of meet cute and get it over with.  No such thing.  We opened Mocha's carrier, and waited for her to come out, which she never did.  Finally, Tori pulled her out of there.  And then she sat up against the couch, trying to get under it.  The couch was too low, and this annoyed Mocha deeply.  Every time Jack got too close, Mocha would hiss.
One of Jack's other roommates, Kim, was apparently good with getting cats to like each other.  So we were waiting for her.  
Eventually, I suggested that we watch Friends.  I figured that this was a good way to pass the time.  As Jack was looking at the episodes, I was struck by how attractive Jack was going to be, even when he got older.  I kept imagining him with graying hair and wearing his glasses down his nose.  I could totally imagine him wearing sweater vests and working as a professor.
I was struck by a similar set of thoughts about Daniel months ago.  I was watching him walk, and I realized that when he looked older, he wasn't going to be all that different.  Like, more hunched over than he already is, and with white hair and maybe even a bigger beard, but basically himself.  And, like Jack, he would be cute.  He would be adorable as an old man. 
I realized a while ago that I've been nursing a little crush on Jack.  I'm not going to do anything about it because he has a girlfriend and he's been with her for four years, which I'm really impressed by.  There's no way I could compete with that, and I don't want to accidentally ruin Jack's life by telling him.  He's a sweetie and deserves better than that.   
We first watched "The One with All the Embryos" which had the Mom from That 70s Show and the episode that is an alternative reality of what their lives would have been like.  We had a good time giggling, while Mocha sat there and hissed every time Feets tried to come into the room.
I joked that Feets was like a thirteen-year-old emo boy who really wanted to get close to the girl, but kept getting scared off.  And then would inevitably have to go and write sad little songs about it. 
Kim finally came home.  She sat down on the floor next to Mocha and Mocha didn't hiss or anything.  Kim just petted her and that was that.  Mocha was definitely going to be able to stay.  Kim really was the Cat Whisperer.
Tori, Jack and I got some extra cat stuff (scratching post, bowls, toys) out of Tori's car.  Then we parted ways.  I was afraid Tori was going to have a hard time leaving Mocha, but she seemed relatively all right. 

Con Virgin

Yesterday, I headed over to a steampunk convention. As some of you know, I'm really interested in subcutltures, and steampunk is one of the newest around. I wanted to do a little amateur anthropology work.
But one of the things that happened was that I ran into my old friend Jack, who I went to high school with. It was through him that I heard about the convention.
Jack's a transman, which means that he's going through a transition right now. He's really cool. He mentioned to me that he wants to go back and see a particular teacher, but since he's begun taking hormones (his voice is very different now), he's a little worried about going back to see that teacher. Not so much because that teacher would hate him, but because it might be a little bit of a shock.
I know if I was in Jack's position, I would feel really awkward about it too. I told him that if he went with a group of friends (we all sat together in the back) or someone gave the teacher warning, it might be fine. I didn't think about it at the time, but I probably should have offered to go with him. Hell, I'd even be polite to my ex-boyfriend to get this to work for Jack.
Anyway, I digressed before I even got started on what I wanted to say. The steampunk convention was really cool. There was a merchants room, and I saw all sorts of cool costumes and props and other nerdy things for sale. Even though I had a fair amount of moolah on me, I always feel like I should be very careful what I buy. (NO impulse purchases.) So I mostly looked. There were some beautiful hats and costumes for sale, and they were very expensive looking. I actually managed to make myself a pretty decent costume just out of the stuff I have in my closet. The only thing I really need to do is to improve this look is maybe add an accessory or two to make it more steampunk-y. I collected tons of fliers and business cards, so I'm hoping that there will be people for me to go to for more stuff, should I decide to buy it. I'm a big believer that it's never too early to start making wishlists for Christmas or your birthday.
The only thing I ended up buying were some clip on magnifying glasses. Basically, one of the most important parts of a steampunk costume is the goggles. But of course these goggles have a very particular design, one that suctions down on each eye, making them less than ideal for those of us who wear glasses full time. So, even though this is one nerdy subculture, you can't help but feel, as someone who wears glasses, that you're being discriminated against once again. But they also make these handy magnifiers you can clip to your glasses to give you a steampunk look and still use your prescription lenses.

I'm also thinking that maybe I should use one of my belts and just buy a few simple add-ons, like a flask or jar or gun holster (with gun, obviously) and that will look way more steampunk than some of the other people I saw there. Steampunk is all in the accessories.
Matt and I headed over to the game room for part of the convention. We played the game Arkham Horror, which is based on the Lovecraft stories. It was this big, impressively complicated game involving investigators trying to stop monsters from destroying the town. The representative showing this game looking like he belonged in a mobster movie and smelled like Burger King fries.
100 posts! Which would probably be more impressive if I hadn't skipped two days of posting, just because there hasn't been much going on or too much going on for me to get to room in the day to post something.