Marilyn Hacker Poem

I was reading some poems today, and I came across this great bits by Marilyn Hacker:
"You did say, need me less and I’ll want you more.
I’m still shellshocked at needing anyone,
used to being used to it on my own.
It won’t be me out on the tiles till four-
thirty, while you’re in bed, willing the door
open with your need. You wanted her then,
more. Because you need to, I woke alone
in what’s not yet our room, strewn, though, with your
guitar, shoes, notebook, socks, trousers enjambed
with mine. Half the world was sleeping it off
in every other bed under my roof.
I wish I had a roof over my bed
to pull down on my head when I feel damned
by wanting you so much it looks like need."
Ruth likes to tell me "be mean, keep them keen," and I've already mentioned why I dislike that entire life philosophy and how I think it's a little one-sided.  (Boys are far less likely to put up with a mean girl than the opposite.) 
I love the last bit of imagery, with the roof being pulled down. 

Rain on Rooftops

Last night, at around 4, it started raining again.
I have an odd nostalgic thing going on with weather. I love, for example, to sing in the rain. (At the beginning of the school year, I sang a Priscilla Ahn song in front of Hannah during a downpour, and yesterday, "Roxanne" in the courtyard during a drizzle.)
I love to be snuggled in my bed during a storm, and listen to the rain on the roof. At home, this is usually a great thing, since my bedroom is right under the roof, and I find that the rain puts me into a gentle sleep.
Here, it's a disappointment. It's probably the fact that the roof is at a different angle, but the rain doesn't sound as nice. (Mostly, it's just one dripping sound, which is not ideal. It's suppose to be lots of little raindrops making a larger soundscape.) It makes me miss home and all the strange little creature comforts I have there. For example, I live near a nature preserve, and in the summer, the crickets make tons of noise. I put earplugs in and can still hear them. Those little things make me so happy.
I think another part of the problem is that I just can't sleep. This last month has found me up until four or five in the morning, tossing and turning. I have a lot of stress in my life right now. Most of it is stuff that is going on in my relationships or with other people, and I recognize that in most cases, no one is doing anything on purpose to hurt me. But I still find myself unable to block most of it out. I realized in the shower last night that the first ten things on my mind were all the stresses of my life. A large number of the people and things I found joy in, even a few months ago, have all taken a turn for the worst, almost all at the same moment. I'm hoping if I just manage through this semester, a lot of this will either resolve itself or will go away so that I'm not always forced to think about it.