Kevin texted me tonight as I was watching Jeopardy. I thought maybe it might be Paul, since the two of us used to watch the show on occasion, but no. I haven't talked to Paul since graduation.
But talking to Kevin was nice. He told me about work and his boyfriend.
And now I see that Nate left me a message.
I'm so relieved that someone wants to talk to me. I've been a little lonely, as embarrassed as I am to admit that. I think it's mostly the stress of having to take care of my (almost-died-but-my-family-lied-to-me-about-it) Grandma.
When I was a teenager and got really depressed, I shut myself off from everyone. I didn't want to talk to everyone; being forced to interact with people at school, church, extracurriculars, etc. wasn't fulfilling anyone. (But then again nothing was. All I wanted to do was disappear into oblivion.)
Now, of course, the situations different: I'm in a forced isolation to do what's right and missing people a lot.
So, hey, if you're out there, keep those messages coming. I'm quite at my leisure. I'm willing to talk about anything with my friends.
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